February 5, 2022
All the little birds on the telephone wire were so full. They were digesting all of the food that they’d stolen from the raccoons. Also, I should say that even though the raccoons looked innocent, they too had stolen their food. They’d stolen it out the back of a delivery truck driven by humans. And I should mention very quickly that the food inside the truck had also been stolen- don’t let those happy humans fool you, for they had stolen the food from cows utters on some farm.
Anyways, that was all happening while the mayor was sitting in his office. He was eating a turkey sandwich as he watched the birds eat their lunch. He gazed at them very intensely as he chewed. It was quite a morning for everyone, what with all the digestion going on.
After finishing his lunch, the mayor stood and went to the window. He lifted it open- this was an old building, one where you could open the windows without too much hassle. So he stuck his head out and called to the birds. “Hey! Look at me! Come over here and sit on my windowsill!”
“Why?!” Replied one of the birds.
“Well because I have a meeting with Paul McCartney and I want him to see that not only do the voters love me, but so do the beautiful birds!”
“You’ve gotta throw something in for us! What might we get out of it?” Asked the bird.
“I’ll put you all on the front page of the paper! I’m friends with the editors!”
“That sounds good,” said the bird to his friends, as he puffed his chest in pride. The birds jumped into the air and glided gracefully over to the window sill, where they stood and looked highly presentable for Paul McCartney.