The Power of Oprah

 Jan 20, 2023

    I have had dreams of dogs and of hogs. I have fought men with sticks and I’ve put dogs to sleep. I’ve had to end their life on earth. I had no choice. That dog was gonna get some kids face between its jaws. I was doing a service to this world. 

    I wonder why there is such resistance right before joy? I know what I should do. I know it’s good for me and that it will bring joy. So why is there a resistance?  I’m starting to realize that different parts of ‘me’ are always interacting with each other. There’s the body and the mind, among many other things. But I get the feeling what I’m describing is coming from the body. I guess the body is concerned with staying in a certain state. The idea of a struggle or effort is not so appealing to it? I dun know.

    But everything will work out. It always has. You’re on a rock filled with oxygen! That’s great news! You’ve got love and food and water and air and gravity. You’ve also got joy in the form of music! What a blessing! 

    Thank you thank you thank you! I have one wish. I wish to be served a tray of golden fries. I would just love some French fries right about now.

    You don’t need this, my child.

    I know what I need. Don’t you tell me what I need. 

    Fine. You’ve got it you chimp.

    Thank yeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

    His miracle was evident in the dew. I saw it sparkle before the world. I saw the suns light up the morning and turn the night into a memory. That was so poetic that I think I just came in my pants. 
I want you to let go of all your chickens and surrender your prize. Lets see what you’ve got under that dress. I would like to fuck all that you own. Let’s just be clear about two things. Let’s say that I’ve been watching you in the river. Let’s just imagine that. Let’s imagine that I have watched you bathe like a little goat. You get so fucking wet and then you shiver all the way home! How come you never brought a towel? Are you stupid? 

    Well, forget it. I just wanted to suggest the idea that I would be the one to offer you a towel. What about this for an idea? Next time you go for a swim, just walk over to the bush and close your eyes. I will stick my cock out of the bush, and hanging on the tip of that cock will be a pink towel. It’s jut for you. How do you like that? You take that towel, dry that cold ass of yours and then head home. I will be waiting in the bush for seven years, trying my best to know the truth. 

    “That was the sickest thing I ever read. I can’t believe you would write something so vile. In all your talent and wisdom, that’s how you choose to express yourself?” She asks

    “I’m sorry that you feel this! But you’ve agreed to everything you’re feeling!” I respond. “You’re creating all that you are!”

    “Oh hell no,” said Oprah. “You did this. You are the one making me suffer. I want to hear you say sorry.”

    “I am sorry,” I smile with infinite compassion. “Are you healed now?” 

    Oprah sniffs the air. She laughs and licks her lips. “I’m a healed being! I have known love only twice in my life! Take me to your ship and let me be your captain! I will sail us to victory!” She roars with a fierce conviction. She started running around the house ripping up the drapes in ecstasy. 

Cruising The Current

 Jan 17, 2023

    His father is on the railing. He’s perched there, just about to jump. A craft approaches through the clouds. It opens up a great cyclone of energy. All the colours of the ocean are sucked up into a vortex. The man watches from the ship, his mouth wide open. Then the sun breaks through the clouds and all is very clearly a play. Everything is like toys on a child’s floor. It was always just like a rehearsal. The man can see this so clearly. He laughs but is so startled at the same time. It takes a moment to absorb what he’s seeing.

    In me is energy. I can feel it moving upwards. It is quite strong and quite familiar. It is very exiting. I feel so grateful and excited. I’m very optimistic. I’m learning how to remove my mind and just observe. The mind collapses everything down into a fixed place. When I get into the same state as automatic writing, I can be present and aware but completely out of the way. I’m still there but I’m not controlling or interpreting anymore. I’m just observing and moving with the current. 

A Cosmic Nudge

 Jan 14, 2023

    I did some more busking today! It’s great! I get payed more than minimum wage! And I’m practising and learning and talking to all sorts of people! It’s such an interesting way to interact with people. They’re immediately happy to see me once they realize I’m playing music. And I’m really enjoying the way some of the girls are starting to look at me too! 

    So yah that all happened to Kai. He was going out there and really doing some good work. He was making progress in realizing his full potential. It sorted slow and awkward.But he stayed positive and it got to be very fun. It will get bigger and bigger and grow into something unique and fun. It’s a good path for him. It will help with his spirituality and self-discovery as well, just because of the parts of his body that he is activating in order to play his music. It really does use all different parts of the body that are generally left untouched. It’s also very good for him because he is receiving such positive vibrations from all the people who smile at him and are happy to hear him. This has a profound effect on his energy body. He is receiving lots and lots of powerful energy at this time. He is growing and he’s on the right track! 
    

    The UFO's are all around you. There are so many different types of beings in this universe. Not just UFO’s in the sky. There are things in the room with you. Things that don’t really have a shape or occupy any space. There are things the size of a grain of sand. There is just so much. Keep raising your vibration and all of this will be revealed to you. Nothing is being kept from you. You are absolutely invited to the party. We are eagerly awaiting you. You just have to raise your frequency. It’s a slow and gradual process, like the growing of a tree or the body of a child. It takes time- years even. It’s natural and part of the process. This doesn’t mean that moments of joy won’t come along the way. They will. Don’t get into the idea that things won’t become exciting until you’ve finally made open and consistent contact. Joy can be experienced all along the way, at every point along the path. Just know that you embarked on a long and noble path that takes you through many experiences and perspectives. You have been travelling so long that it would blow your mind if you knew just how long you’ve been travelling, growing, experiencing the universe. It’s all good. You’re doing just fine. You will get there. There is no question about that. Everyone will. That is 110% certain. 
 

A Crazy Surprise

 Jan 12, 2023

    I sit here getting upset about all the dumb things supposedly smart people say. 
It feels like so many of their conclusions lie on the a foundation that they see as permanent. I want them to say every time they open their mouth that everything they’re about to say may be only part of the story. 
But it’s natural. Humans are exactly where they need to be. That’s the funny part. There’s no point in fighting or complaining about it. It’s part of our evolution to go through this phase. We will come out. Everything will be ok. It’s actually a privilege to get to live here at a time when so much ignorance is the norm. It’ so interesting to watch it all.

    It can be hard to remember to keep that in perspective. 

    I am excited to be a great performer. I would really like to be totally comfortable playing my guitar and singing. I wanna look and feel totally relaxed. It will be such an interesting life. It will be like having a key to the world. It will take me anywhere and everywhere. 

    I really can’t wait to have a website. That’s gonna be the glue that holds it all together. Everything in one place! Everything safe! Everything free for all to see! No subscriptions or ads. 
The moon is big and on the other side are tons of beings. It’s just another landmass. Just like at one time North America was a ‘new world’ from the perspective of the Europeans. In time we will see the whole solar system the way we see our planet. We will have maps of the solar system, not just of the earth. Our idea of the ‘world’ will grow larger and larger. And just like the Europeans who found people already living in North America, we too will find a seemingly endless amount of intelligent life right here in our solar system. All around us. And just like how Europeans turned out to be genetically related to the people they found, we too will find that we are genetically related to the other beings in our solar system. 

    The biggest surprise might be in finding that there were whole populations of beings living right beneath our feet. Within the earth live many, many conscious, intelligent, and loving beings. 

Observing Something

 Jan 11, 2023

    Hope is not forgotten easily. It keeps coming back. I don’t know what anything is. I just don’t know where I am. I feel a body. An awareness watches everything. But I can never find the awareness. I can’t identify it. It’s like I only know, see, feel, hear, think what I’m not. 

    And then comes the voice. It’s like it wants me to stop asking these questions. It basically says that there’s no big answer. That it’s all just random. It’s all basically an accident. You’re just a chimp. There is no point to anything.

    But then I remember the UFO’s. I remember how shattering that was to my idea of reality. It changed everything for me. I felt like I couldn’t trust anything after that. What else had I been lied to about? And why couldn’t the so-called experts of our society see it? They’re in the position of being the ‘knowers’ and yet they couldn’t see something that was so obvious? I felt weird trusting anything else they said after that. I just couldn’t understand why they didn’t see it. It was so obvious. It was right there. 

    There’s an anger. I observe it. I don’t want to fight it. I don’t want to be its slave. I will let it be. I will observe it. When it becomes strong it takes over my whole body and I tighten up. Then I’m suffering. I’m the first victim of my anger. 

    There’s so much to do. But why? There’s a fight between wanting to prove myself, and wanting to be rid of the self. 

    Now I’m blocked. It’s when I start to think that I need to say important stuff. That’s when it stops flowing and I get real critical. It’s not good. But everything is natural. Everything. 

    I want to live a life where I’m fulfilled. Starting the habit is the hardest part, but once it’s a habit than it’s so easy. It’s so easy for me to wake up and start meditating. It’s just habit. It used to be so easy to run every morning. I didn’t even have to think about it. Now I need to form the habit of writing every day. I need to also form the habit of performing music every day. I want to get to where I look totally natural and relaxed doing it. It’s just coming out of me. I’m not there anymore. It’s just the sound, and I’m not getting in the way. Like how it was working behind the counter at the Fox. It got to be this dance. I could do it with my eyes closed. And then customers would sometimes say they liked watching me work. That it was almost hypnotizing. I want to get to that place with performing music. 

    I also really want to have a website. God do I want that. My own spot on the Internet with just my things. No comments or likes or anything like that. I want to be able to create and post without ever having to worry about what people think. It’s just an internet diary basically. 

A Lovely Little Dream

 Jan 10, 2023

    I’m all alone in a body. I was thinking that for the longest time. Then I guess something changed. I don’t know what but its so interesting. I saw that controlling is strange. It immediately begins a chain reaction. It can be dangerous.

    I’ve really been trynna think what I want. On one level I don’t want anything. I just want to sit here and feel the present moment, because I’m starting to understand just how much there is to feel and observe. There’s just more and more and more. And I realize that everything I buy or anything I do kinda adds to the distractions. I’m sure I can get to a place where I’m so rooted in the present that these things can’t distract me. It’s just that I feel funny when I start to think about what I want. I almost feel guilty, like I’m not aloud to dream. 

    I boiled it down to two things. 

    I want to know the truth.

    I want to travel the world playing my music for people. 

    I realize both those things are more like paths. They don’t really have a final destination, which is ok. They’re more like a lifestyle, I guess. 

    I want to know the big questions. I want to be so rooted in the present moment. I want to understand my mind. I want to know who I am and why I’m here. I want to know why anything is here. That confuses me sometimes. It seems strange that anything should be here. But I don’t want to just read a book or follow a teaching and have my questions answered that way. I want to know on a deeper level. On an experiential level. I don’t want to just read about water and understand it intellectually. I want to drink it. Water is just an example. I don’t want to have to believe in things. I also want to be totally content with where I’m at. I don’t want to feel that because I don’t know everything, I’m therefore lacking. I realize that I can feel totally content exactly where I am. And I want to sink deeper into that as well. I don’t want to chase these questions, hoping that they will relieve some dissatisfaction with the present moment. 

    I really want to travel the planet sharing my music and my writing and my photos. I don’t know why. I just feel like it’s something I’m meant to do. I want to have my own website, though. I don’t want to have to be tied to anyone else’s app or platform. I also want to have enough money. I want to be comfortable that way. I want to be totally free and comfortable financially. I have this vision of having a blog where I can post my writing, my photos and all the music I make. I see myself playing music on the streets in New York, in Paris, in Tokyo, in Rio. And then I see myself going for lunch and meditating in a park. And then I see myself going to a recording studio! And then writing about all that and putting it in the blog! The writing, the photos from the day, the music I played and recorded! I wanna be travelling around the world like that! Free! Like a bird. I can feel that feeling of freedom in my gut. That excitement. I feel myself being so grateful and pleased with myself for choosing that path. I want to be doing it because it’s fun and uncertain. 

In The Beginning

 Jan 3, 2023

    Magical slippers flew onto my feet and then made me run inside of the tunnels until I got hit by  a train. I started to float up from my lifeless body. I floated through the tunnel walls, through the floor, up through an apartment building room by room, and then up above the Tokyo skyline. I went high into the sky, floating slowly through fluffy white clouds when everything started turning a warm shade of violet. A hum became audible. Everything became brighter and brighter. The hum became really noticeable, until everything was just violet light and deep humming. I wasn’t really there anymore, although I was aware of the light and the sound. I somehow felt like it was me, or I was it. I wasn’t thinking about anything else. We were just very aware and still and calm.