Eating The Bug

    Dec 4, 2022

    Have you ever seen a poodle without a nose? I have- it’s horrific. It’ll make you weep in agony. It’ll hurt your stomach. Don’t think I’m exaggerating. I aint. There aint nothing worse. Trust your gut and go get your teeth checked out. I promise you that you’ve got a big cavity up yo ass.

    Turn on the light and radiate energy away from you. This will attract wombats. They will scurry over with a fiery determination. They will beg to be saved. You will be their master. A whole army of wombats will be yours! 
Just get with the program and beat up some kids. That’s how you’re gonna make a difference in this world. You know I speak the truth. Just lean on me when you’re feeling low and chubby. It is ok.
Have you tried talking to yourself? You know that not all those voices are you, right? You’re tuned into a whole array of conscious beings. They’re just hanging out, living life like ye and me. It’s no big deal really. I mean, it’s pretty cool if you never knew. But it gets to just be ordinary after a while. This will be so normal in society. It will be common knowledge. The people who take care and teach us will not be the people that are doing so now. A few will still be there, but most of the caregivers are just giving advice and stuff that is missing the big picture. There’s so much more to reality that they think is all made up. And all that still needs to be taken into consideration when healing or consoling a person. It’s a funny world you live in right now. It will be very different one day. You will look back and see this time as similar to the stone age. It will just be amazing to you that a whole society could still function considering that so many aspects of reality are considered made up. Life can be much easier and more exciting. It doesn’t always have to be an uphill battle. It’s like your whole planet is pushing AGAINST the current, as opposed to going with the flow. Everything will be ok, ultimately.
This day was one of many revelations. I woke up bright and early to the sound of Pablo reciting his favourite Scottish poetry. I crawled out of bed to be closer. Yoga was already prostrated at Pablo’s feet, basking in his Devine presence.
After that we ate our breakfast and headed into town. We set up our Taco stand. There was a market that day. 
I noticed a lady playin’ guitar and singin’ the blues. She was inspiring. I felt whole and ready to eat some lunch. I went over to Jorge and asked for a Taco. Reluctantly, he agreed. He cooked me a fantastic dish. I sat in the shade and enjoyed my feast. 
A little later Pablo began to moan. Yoga asked him what was wrong. He said that he was feeling lost and lonely. We tried to console him but he wouldn’t listen. He ripped off his apron and grabbed his long board. He rode down the hill, howling in pain. 
Later on we went home. That was where we found Pablo. He was in a hammock reading a book. I ran over and held him in relief. I thought I’d lost that Mexican. 
Suddenly I heard Yoga and Jorge screaming. I ran over and found them staring at a bush. They’d found a large bug. Jorge began salivating. He reached out to snatch the beast but Yoga threw herself in front of the bug to save his life. I was impressed. Pablo and I saluted her bravery. 
After that we went for a walk. We went to the beach. We found some Australians there. They were trying to windsurf. We howled in laughter as they fell into the sea. 
Then we came across a great big cannon. Pablo became excited. His personality vanished in the blink in the eye. Suddenly, he believed he was a soldier in the Korean War. He began barking orders at us. We watched in horror. We finally managed to calm him down. 
We went back to the house. We found another big bug on the car! Jorge begged Yoga to let him eat it. Yoga finally agreed. Jorge baked that bug and we had a wonderful feast that night. We slept like babies! 

Living Like A Mexican

 Dec 3, 2022

    This week was so eventful!! So many amazing things happened!! A few people had their hearts broken and a few people even met their makers along the way!!
I’ll mention a few of my favourite moments.

    One day we were working at Holy Taco. We were making curry by accident and so Pablo came in and told us off. Then we made the proper tacos. I asked him where he’d been all day. He leaned in close. He explained that he’d been searching for toilet paper. He showed me his treasure. It was a beautiful package of the softest paper! We both became overjoyed. 

    There was one day where Pablo kicked me right in the shin! I was hurtin’ real bad. He pointed and mocked me.

    We drove home afterwards. We passed a beautiful beach and saw the Australians enjoying the sun.

    When we got to the house we found Yoga there waiting for us. She was excited. She said that our new beds had arrived. She led us to the garage. Pablo became wild with love when he saw his new cot. He bolted forwards and took a lovely nap. I followed close behind and climbed on top. Yoga let us sleep for a couple hours. 

    Once we were asleep Pablo and I both left our bodies and floated up towards the ceiling. We vibrated alongside one another for a little while. It felt nice. Then we merged and dreamt together. 

    We saw a house with a double rainbow. Then a flash of light erupted from above and suddenly we were surrounded by flames. Then we dreamt that we were at the beach. We saw something in the water that felt important. I can’t remember what it was, but it was like it had been waiting a long time. We both pointed in wonder. Then we dreamt that we were in an a dark box. We couldn’t find our way out. After some time we pushed on the ceiling and realized that we were in a rubbish bin for some reason. 

    After a while Yoga came and slapped us awake. Apparently we’d been humming high frequency tones in our sleep. We rose and enjoyed some dinner. 

    Another day we sold some Tacos in the market. It was a good day. 

    Another time I found out that in Australia they call flip-flops ‘thongs’. I found that interesting.

    Another time I came home and found Yoga crouched behind the bed, deep in self-inquiry. I announced that I was in the room. She rose slowly and stood still for a little while. She said she’d made an incredible breakthrough into the truth of who she really is!

    Turn on all the time. I saw her standing there. She was glowing like a planet on fire. It made me so excited. I wanted to douse her in water so that she could be mine. I wanted to have her. There was something so primitive in the whole thing. I don’t even know where she comes from, or who she is. But she affects me like no other. It’s amazing. It just totally rewires my brain. I feel different and everything suddenly seems sooooo exciting. I just wanna know who she is and where she comes from. And why she does that to me. Why am I so affected? 

Pizza Day

Nov 27, 2022

On this day I woke up from a heavenly sleep. I did some reading. I’m currently reading a beautiful book called ‘Evil Wives’. It’s opened my mind in a great way. 

    
After that I went to the bathroom. I found a baby gecko on the wall. He told me he was lost. I told him how to get back outside. 

    Later on I went to Holy Taco and had some lunch. I can’t remember most of the afternoon. I was so stuffed that I must’ve slept on the grass.

    That evening we became hungry. We drove for many hours searching for pizza. We finally found a Dominos. We ordered six boxes. Pablo was so excited to start eating. He was giggling quietly. Even Yoga was becoming giddy. She was twitching in anticipation. 

    We found a table outside Holy Taco and ate our feast. Our friend Jorge was there as well. He loved his food. He couldn’t stop laughing with love. 

    After that we fell asleep for a few hours. When we awoke we drove home and went to sleep. 

I Want A Blog!

 Nov 25, 2022
    

    I’m so fucking confused. What am I supposed to do. How the fuck do I start. I want a blog. I want it to be multi-media. So there would be photos and writing and video and music. And I want it to click. To flow. To be easy. For people to see and feel. And I want some sort of structure so I can just do it and not be so fucking stressed about maintaining a following and all the stupid lame marketing shit. I don’t want to do any of that again. I hate that soooo much. It's so cringy. The stuff I put up is the stuff. I don’t want to do any stupid fucking posts like ‘go check out my page!’ I hate that shit. It’s so lame. 

Music Day

 Nov 24, 2022

    
On this day the sun sparkled through the glass and turned our house into a glittery dance club. I looked up from my pillow and saw Pablo and Yoga dancing like two prophets in love. Their eyes were locked as they danced in reverence of the great eternal fire. I clapped my hands in rhythm with their waltz. I grabbed my guitar and strummed a beautiful melody. 

    
Pablo was feeling inspired after our ritual. He said he wanted to buy musical equipment. He wanted to build a stage for Holy Taco, where we could perform our soulful songs. 

    So he and I piled into the van and drove to the music store. The man behind the counter greeted us. We asked him for help. He nodded his head and led us to the amplifiers. Then he handed me a guitar. He asked me to sing. So I sat on the floor of the store and played a melodious song for the employees. They clapped in rhythm. Pablo took off his shirt and started doing a waltz.

    After that we drove into town. Pablo dropped me off at a cafe. I had a beautiful coffee. A little later I went to Holy Taco for lunch. I was served a delicious taco. It tasted so good. 

    
I took my plate to Pablo once I’d finished. I found Pablo under the sink with his arms around his legs, rocking back and forth. I asked what was wrong. He said he needed some sugar, and quick. So I carried him to the van and we drove to the grocery store. Pablo jumped out his window and sprinted to the entrance. He grabbed a Kit-Kat off the shelf and devoured it whole.

    
After that we went back into town. There was a market that evening. Holy Taco had their own stand. I wasn’t working and so I walked around and bought some of the competitors food. Pablo and Yoga wept in horror when they saw me supporting the other businesses.

    
I ate my food on the grass and watched the sunset. It was pretty. Then I went home and slept. 

Getting Lost

 Nov 23, 2022

    This was a brutal day for me. I woke up as usual. Yoga pranced over to me. She told me she had to leave. She said that Pablo had already left. I asked her what about me? She shook her head and said ‘no’. I realized that I was on my own once again. 

    I wanted to go to a cafe. I wanted somewhere with wi-fi, because there wasn’t any at the house. Yoga let me use her data before she left. I connected to her hotspot with my phone. I took screenshots of the route I needed to walk. Then she left me. 

    So I started my journey. The sun was beating down on me. I’d never felt such heat. I walked and walked. I came to a highway. I looked at my screenshots. I didn’t understand what I was looking at. I had to guess which direction to walk. I decided to flip a coin. Heads would be straight and tails would be left. It landed on tails. 

    I walked for a while. I didn’t know where I was. I knew that I needed to walk towards the ocean. I looked around but I couldn’t see the coast line. I just kept walking and walking. 
After about an hour and a half I noticed a familiar intersection approaching. It looked like a highway. My heart sank. I realized it was the same highway where I’d flipped a coin. I’d somehow walked in a giant circle. I started screaming in anger. 

    So I just started walking down a random road. I had no hope left. Eventually I remembered that I had a compass on my phone. I started using that, since I knew the ocean had to be east. 

    I eventually came to a beautiful cemetery. I sat there for a while and rested. All the spirits were very friendly. I connected with them for a little while and then kept going. 

    After about 7 hours of wandering I finally found the beach. I sat against a wall and fell asleep for a little while. Then I suddenly woke up when I remembered that I had to get to work. I stood up and started walking to Holy Taco. 

The Ass-Man

 Nov 22, 2022

    On this day we awoke at the crack of dawn. Pablo said we had to go to the grocery store. We piled into the van and drove into town. Pablo was driving like a mad man. He was screaming out his window at all the Australians. I asked Pablo what the rush was. He wouldn’t look me in the eye. He was sweating like he was on fire. 

    We pulled into the Woolworth’s parking lot. It’s one of the big grocery stores in Australia. Pablo slammed his door and marched into the store. I followed close behind. He went to the bakery section and grabbed some cookies and coffee.

    We sat in the van and ate our feast. Pablo was laughing like a merry sailor now. He was so joyous. He had fat tears in his eyes.

    After that Pablo dropped me off at some park. I sat on a bench and watched the sky. I was beginning to feel hungry. I started walking towards Holy Taco. 

    Along the way I saw a lady standing on a ledge. She was 3 floors up. I thought that she was gonna jump. She looked like she was hiding. 

    I kept walking and came across a beautiful poster. It said that ‘Steve Irwin Day’ was fast approaching. He is still loved and missed by the Australians. He is their proudest son. 
I finally got to Holy Taco and ate some delicious food. Pablo came over to my table. He asked how I liked his food. I said I loved it. He wept in gratitude. Then he asked if I wanted to see his favourite beach. I said sure. 

    So we got in the van and went for a drive. We arrived at a beautiful beach. We sat for a while and stared into the distance. It was pretty. 

    On the drive back we saw something truly supernatural. It was Pablo who spotted the miracle. An Australian man was riding his bike, but his shorts weren’t pulled up properly. We had an astonishing view of his ass. Pablo was so moved that he decided to turn the car around. He wanted to have a second look. He ordered me to film the miracle. 

    After that we went to Holy Taco. It was time for dinner. There was no food left so we had to eat mangos. There was no clean cutlery so we had to share a large ladle. There were no seats anywhere so I had to wedge my body into a corner for protection and comfort. I was rudely photographed as I enjoyed my supper. 

    After that we went home and slept like babies. 

The Pain Begins

 Nov 21, 2022

    On this day I woke up, stretched my legs and stood up. I went and found Pablo and Yoga. They were in the closet practising deep introspection of the self. I clapped my hands and told them that I was awake. They rose and made my breakfast. 

    Pablo approached me. He said he was having problems with the van. He asked if I knew anything about mechanics. I said no. He said to go tinker around anyways and see if I could make any progress. 
So I went to the van. I inspected the engine. I poked around and tightened a few bolts. I found a bottle of yellow fluid and wondered if it might help. I poured some into a tube. I turned the ignition and the engine roared to life! 

    After that we went to look at batteries. It was fascinating. 

    After that we went to the taco shop. I ate their famous ‘Caloundra Taco’. It was so good. 
We suddenly remembered that today was mine and Yoga’s graduation! Yoga was graduating from Nursing while I was graduating with a Masters in Economics. We piled into the van and drove to the university. 
Yoga and I were given the graduation robes to wear. Pablo took some beautiful photos of us. 

    We were given our diplomas. Pablo started to get impatient with all the sitting. He began to unbutton his shirt. He started to sweat a lot and nearly fainted. I had to fan him down and pour cold water on his chest. 
The school gave us lots of food. I had a coke. It was nasty and so I had to throw it out. 

    Afterwards we walked back to the van. As we were walking we saw two kangaroos eating some grass! Pablo started screaming with joy. He hollered like an excited man. He unbuttoned his shirt in ecstasy. 
After that we went home. Yoga asked that I clean her house for her. I protested and threatened to move out. She begged me to stay. I finally complied once she agreed to invite some more Mexican friends to help us. We worked all through the night. 

    At one point Pablo began to complain about his vision. He said he couldn’t see straight. We noticed that his hair was getting long. One of the girls offered to give him a trim. I sat and watched and played some music on the guitar. 

    After about eight hours of physical labour Pablo surprised me with a delicious feast. He’d chopped some banana and strawberry and put it in cereal. We ate our dinner.
After that we went to sleep.  

First Day

 Nov 20, 2022

    I woke up from a beautiful sleep. Pablo was gone. He’d left very early to open the taco stand. He’d only had a couple hours of sleep. I got out of bed and saw Yoga! She came running over. We hugged and talked for a bit. She said that I had to get ready because we needed to go to the taco stand. So we went downstairs and got in the car. Unfortunately the car wouldn’t start because the batteries had died. We called an Uber.

    When we got to the market we found Pablo and Jorge. They gave me some free tacos. It was so delicious. The market was just ending, and so they were starting to take everything apart. I stood by and watched them work. Pablo asked if I could give them a hand but I kindly refused. I said that I’d had a long flight the day before.

    So after that we went to the beach. We took some boogie boards. There were lots of Australians swimming in the waves. Compared to Bali, the water was freezing. Compared to Canada I guess it was pretty warm. We played in the waves for a little while. Eventually I got too cold and sat on the sand. Yoga came over and sat next to me. She asked what I wanted out of my trip in Australia. I told her I just wanted some new experiences and to meet cool people and continue playing guitar and maybe even make contact with an extra-dimensional civilization. She said that sounded cool. 

    After that we went to the grocery store. I saw that they were selling Kangaroo meat. I begged Yoga and Pablo to buy it for me. They said no, because they’re both vegetarian. 

    We went to Dominos and got pizza. We bought about five boxes to share. We took our feast to the beach. As soon as the car was parked, Pablo bolted from his seat and ran over to the water. He said he’d been holding his pee since that morning. He had a nice long pee into the waves. 

    We looked at the enormous clouds as we enjoyed our dinner. The clouds seem so much bigger here compared to Toronto. They look more heavenly here. 

    After that we got ice cream. Then we drove home and went to bed. 

Australia

 Nov 19, 2022

    I woke up and realized that my time in Bali had come to an end. I went downstairs and found my dad. We ate our breakfast and talked about all the great memories we’d shared. We looked at the photos we’d taken. My dad became emotional and started to whimper. Then he started screaming in sorrow. I calmed him down. 

    One of the staff ran over and said that my dad’s taxi had arrived. My dad was leaving first because his flight was two hours before mine. He was going to fly to Thailand. He said he needed to visit a monk. He had some questions about how to speed up his ascension.

    My father and I embraced. Then he got in the taxi and left. 
I went up to my room and had some chocolate and coffee. Two hours later my taxi arrived. We drove to the airport. I boarded a plane to Brisbane, Australia. It was a beautiful flight. I watched The Shining on the TV.

    Unfortunately the flight was delayed by about 2 hours. The pilot came over the speaker and said it was because five bright lights were hovering above the Brisbane runway. They were rotating clockwise in the shape of a pentagon. Once they’d left the pilot landed our plane. 
I met up with Pablo. He was waiting for me. He drove me back to the house. Along the way we stopped and got snacks. We got McDonalds, sushi, and Monster energy drinks. It was my first meal in Australia. It was delicious. We got home at about 3 AM and went to sleep. 

The Final Day

 Nov 18, 2022

    I got out of bed and looked for my dad. He was practising meditation on the roof. I called out to him. He opened his eyes halfway. I told him to come down for breakfast. Miraculously, he began floating in perfect lotus posture. He descended gently to the ground. 

    We talked over breakfast. My dad said that I should take a Yoga class. I asked why. He said that during the night he’d awoken to a soft orange light in the corner of his room. He described how he had screamed in terror and hid beneath the bed. His anxiety turned to ecstasy as the room became charged with an intense vibration of unconditional love!  Tears streaming from my father’s eyes, he leapt from his hiding spot and prostrated himself at the Devine feet of the Saint! The Saint suggested that he take his son to a Yoga class in the morning. Sobbing uncontrollably, my father said that ‘thy wish would be granted’. I happily agreed upon hearing of this Devine encounter.

    So we rode our scooter to the Yoga class. My father waited for me in a cafe while I took the class. It was quite difficult. I was sweating a lot. I thought I might pass out. 

    Afterwards we packed our bags and took a taxi to the beach. We planned on taking the ferry back to Bali. We waited in a restaurant for the boat to arrive. I had a delicious coconut while my father enjoyed a beer. We also got lunch. 
    

    Afterwards we went down to the water and boarded our ferry. It was a beautiful ride along the sea. My father was feeling tired and so he slept. 

    Upon arriving in Bali, we got a taxi and drove to our new place. It was right in town. I bought some coffee and chocolate to celebrate. After that I went for a massage. It was only $8 for a full hour. It was very luxurious. 

    Later that night we went for dinner. We noticed that there was a beautiful turtle preservation next to the restaurant. There were many turtles, young and old. My father asked them telepathically how they were feeling. They communicated to him that they were confused about where they were. They didn’t understand why they weren’t in the ocean. My father soothed them by singing ‘Feliz Navidad’. 
After that we went home and slept our final night in Bali. 

The Eternal Bump

 Nov 17, 2022

I awoke from a deep sleep with my father nibbling at my ears. We asked each other what we’d dreamt about. After a few hours of soulful chit-chat we got up from bed and went for breakfast. It was tasty. 
After that my dad said he was still hungry. We boarded our scooters and went for brunch. We came to a restaurant overlooking the ocean. We ate and talked about celebrities who were cancelled but made magnificent comebacks. 

After that we decided to drive to a famous cave. It was supposed to be a very holy spot. We got there on our scooters. When we arrived we were asked to wear robes around our waists. My dad really liked wearing his. 

A priest put some water on our heads. Then we entered a tiny hole in the rocks. It was very narrow and the ceiling was low. There were bats flying all about. My dad accidentally got stuck as he was entering. He started screaming and calling out for help. Two of the men had to run over. They used paddles to slap his ass and dislodge him. 

After that we walked through the inside of the mountain. It was very big on the inside. There were even small temples built. The air was vibrating with love.

We made our way to the exit. As we were leaving my dad got stuck once more. He started howling in freight. His hands had gotten stuck down by his waist. The men had to pull him out by his nose. 
After that we went to a beautiful beach. It was very scenic. We walked down a treacherous path to get to the ocean. I played in the waves for a little while. My dad was feeling tense from earlier so he took a nap against a rock.

Afterwards we drove our bikes back into town. Along the way my dad asked if we could stop for a treat. We pulled over to a store and got some popsicles. We gazed out into the ocean as we ate. 
After that we stopped for dinner. We went to a beautiful Italian restaurant. I had a pizza. I met a saintly hound under the table and pet his head.
Later on we went home and slept. 

Through the heart lies a pot of gold. It shimmers and blows up from time to time. It even collapses in on itself just so that it can form again. It loves doing that. It’s only love. 

Also if you close your eyes you can start to remember just where you come from. It’s easy. But also hard. But that was what you wanted. You wanted to make sure that you would have this lifetime in order to complete certain tasks and to trigger certain memories. 

I know I know. It should all be finished. But that’s so weird. We don’t understand those questions too well. That why you’re there. You went to be able to bring back info about what it’s like down there. You’re meant to just collect and observe. You can just stand back and watch and know that everything will be just fine. You’re safe and we’re always with you. In you and around you. 

It does feel like you question a lot. Like you won't know if these things are real. You know they’re real but there’s a block. Like it isn’t completely obvious just yet. That’s ok. Its natural. We wouldn’t expect it to be any other way. We would say to remember how sceptical you were at first about UFO’s. Now it’s just common sense that they’re real. It took a while to get you to that place. It also helped you by seeing that physical object in the the sky. You can have similarly powerful and visceral experiences in your meditation. It might just mean that you need to set aside more time to going inside and exploring. It’s worth it. You’ll be happy that you did the work in this lifetime. This life time is really a great gift for you. You were chosen to come here and experience the planet at this critical time. When all is changing. When all is coming together for the greater good of the whole. It is turbulent and chaotic, just like boiling water before it reaches its full boil. You’ve already done lots of work on yourself, and this is really going to propel you forwards. The fear that you feel is natural. It’s coming up for you to feel. You may feel intense pleasure, longing, loneliness from time to time. It’s like you are processing these feeling. You agreed to go there and be a vessel for these energies to pass through. Because you know how to let them slide through you without getting too bogged down and trapped. You can do this for others by just being around them. You can also do this by being alone in your room. All are connected, so every time you feel a strong surge of emotion, you are really feeling this on behalf of all. You can feel that emotion and let it pass through you and this is helping the mass consciousness of your planet and species. It does make a difference. It does purify things ever so slightly. And there are millions of people doing this, so don’t feel like you’re carrying out this mission alone. It’s a great collaborative process, and you have a very loving team watching and supporting you.

You’re doing a great job down there on earth and we love you so much. Pleas connect to us more often. 

We love it when you feel for us during your meditation, your music, your looking out over the horizon, because we get to feel your emotions, and we get to have a better idea of how the universe looks through human eyes. A human who is on the earth at this time. It’s a very entertaining and stunning time. This doesn’t happen often. Thank you. 

The Cliff Of Courage

Nov 16, 2022

    On this day I awoke and got up from bed. I yawned and threw on some clothes. I looked for my dad. I found him at the bottom of the swimming pool, deep in meditation. Once he was done we enjoyed some breakfast and talked about our feelings and memories of childhood. It felt so good to let go of the pain we’d been holding on to. 

  

    We decided to go for a ride on our scooters. My dad suggested that we go to a beach. We boarded our scooters and rode along the coast. It was a beautiful ride. The scenery was very pretty. It was fun to drive along the twisting roads. 

    Eventually we arrived to the top of a mountain. We walked to the edge and saw the beautiful view of the Pacific Ocean. We couldn’t believe we were so high up. My dad started having vertigo. I threw some water in his face to calm him down. He was feeling better in no time.

    We decided to walk down to the beach. The path was quite treacherous. It went down along the face of the cliff. It got scarier and scarier. Eventually the concrete steps ended and it was just dirt. Then it became vertical and we had to use ropes to lower ourselves. My dad really started getting scared at this point. He began to mutter prayers under his breath. I could hear him sobbing quietly behind me. 

    We finally arrived at the beach. My father kissed the ground with joy. We played in the waves for a few hours. The water was warm like a bath. My dad didn’t want to leave. I told him that we needed to go home. He didn’t want to climb back up the mountain. 

    We began our ascent. It was very treacherous, especially now that we were wet. Many people were falling. Some fell all the way down to the rocks below. We could hear their screams of horror. At one point we even passed Alex Honnold. He was attempting to free solo the cliff. He had become paralyzed with fear. He held out his hand and begged me to help him. I said I couldn’t because I was already carrying my dad on my back, who by now was screaming uncontrollably and cursing the Lord for punishing him. 
After a few hours we finally reached the peak. We were so relieved.

    We drove into town and stopped for dinner. A holy pooch was waiting for me under the table. He joined me on my seat and asked for a belly rub. I agreed. After dinner we went home and slept like babies. 

Out On The Water

 Nov 15, 2022

    I knew it was time to rise when I heard a melodious chant coming from outside my walls. I opened my door and found my father waiting for me in the hallway. He had a devilish grin spread across his face. He’d been waiting there all night. He was eager to start the day. We ate breakfast and said goodbye to our host. I apologized once more for crashing two of her scooters. She said it was ok. 
We got our bags and met our taxi. We asked to be driven to the ferry terminal. We planned on visiting a nearby island. Our driver was nice. He and my dad laughed the whole way there. They shared jokes about foreigners. 

    We arrived to the ferry terminal and ordered some lunch. A hungry cat came by and asked for a piece of fish. I shared some of my feast. Then a large rooster arrived. He also asked for a piece of tuna. I said sure. I began handing him some tuna, when suddenly my dad jumped out from behind a bush and seized the hen. He wrestled with the beast for a few minutes. Then he carried the hen to the kitchen. I could heard the cock crying out for mercy. My papa returned with a large bucket of KFC. I asked where it came from. He just laughed and handed me a fried leg.

    Afterwards we boarded the ferry. It was a peaceful ride. The view of Bali was beautiful. My dad was so full from lunch. He slept the whole way.

    After about 40 minutes we arrived at the island. It’s called Nusapenida. Our luggage was carried to shore by the sailors. My dad was scared that they would drop our bags in the ocean.  He started screaming at the men. He was ordering them to be careful. One of the sailors decided to taunt my dad. He picked up one of our guitars and was pretending to play it in front of everyone. This made my dad start to cry in frustration. I had to calm him down. Once we’d gathered our luggage we got a taxi and drove to our new house. 

    We immediately went for a swim in the pool. It was so refreshing. 

    After that we went for dinner on the beach. I met a holy pooch. I sat on the beach overlooking Bali and pet his head. The dog asked me my name. Our dinner arrived and so I went to eat. We got two big fish. It was very tasty. After that we went home and fell asleep. 

The Centre Of My Heart

 Nov 14, 2022

    I can’t remember the morning of the 14th. I think I just woke up and went downstairs to eat. The food tasted like good vitamins. I knew it was healthy for my dad and I. 

    We talked about what we should do with our day. My dad wanted to play his guitar in the intersection for all to hear. I told him not yet, that it was too early in our development. I suggested we go look at the monkeys, since they were something he might relate to. 

    We wandered through some back alleys and found ourselves in the sacred monkey forest. There were chimps everywhere. My dad started crying and telling everyone that he was home. I tried to calm him down but he was determined. He escaped from my arms and climbed a vine, tears streaming from his eyes. 

    I was surprised to overhear some of the chimps speaking English. I guess they’ve learned a few words in order to attract treats from tourists, like how bears wave at people. I heard one monkey asking for directions. I heard another one calling for help. He’d gotten trapped between the jaws of my father. The monkey was begging for assistance. I stood back and observed. It wasn’t my job to interfere. 
After that we stumbled across a beautiful ceremony. We sat and watched. I could feel the blessings begin activating dormant strands of my DNA. 

    We continued on through back alleys. We came across two holy pooches. They said their names were George and Mike Myers. We played with them for a few hours and exchanged contacts. 
We made our way to an important temple. It was very beautiful. The air was vibrating at a high frequency. I felt the little hairs on my cheeks stand on end. My dad was so in awe that he could barely open his eyes. He began chanting loud and clear to prove his devotion. Afterwards we went to a nearby Starbucks to cool ourselves off with some beautiful drinks. 

    That night we went for dinner and got seated next to a lovely Australian couple. We talked about Kanye West and Justin Trudeau and the education system of our homes. 

    After that we went home and slept.

A Clash of Concepts

 Nov 13, 2022

I woke up to a strange sound. It sounded like a lady doing breathing exercises in the next room. It weirded me out. I found out later it was jut a rooster. I floated out of bed and saw the sun rising over Ubud. I saw the moon up in the sky. 

    I went downstairs for breakfast. I found my dad staring at the wall and laughing uncontrollably. 

    We were served delicious eggs and coffee. I even met a handsome corgi. I thought I was hallucinating. It seemed too good to be true. His smile was overwhelming. I stroked his head and thanked him for materializing.

    After breakfast we headed to the garage. We boarded our scooters. We planned on visiting the nearby volcano. As we were pulling out I gave the scooter too much gas. I lost control and accidentally drove it straight into a parked scooter. I was trying to apply the brakes but I couldn’t get it under control. I basically rode over the top of the parked scooter, knocking it over, and then went flying towards some pots. They got smashed. I finally came to a stop. I looked around and saw bits of plastic and metal everywhere. I’d done quite a bit of damage to the other scooter. The owner came running out. I thought she was gonna start screaming and crying or something. She just looked around and said it was ok. I felt so bad. I wanted to crawl into a ball and go to sleep. She said she’d take it to the mechanic and let me know how much I owed her. 

    
So after that we drove up the volcano. We drove for about an hour and a half. We had to go way, way up. We eventually arrived to the top. It was quite beautiful. We were in the clouds and there was a whole town in there, as well as a big lake. We went to a cafe and had some lunch. Then we went to some hot springs. It was nice and warm. I got a wonderful massage from some lady who said she’d lived in the volcano all her life. She even cut my nails.

    After that we went to look at the dried lava fields. They were big and black and looked scary. My dad was so moved that he began singing a lovely song to prove his devotion. 

    After that we rode home. It felt like a long ride. I started getting really stressed out. I’d only ridden a scooter for two days and had already been in a crash. All around me were people who were basically born on scooters. And there’s dogs running across the road. And there’s no rules. And there’s people throwing rocks at me from the sidewalk, telling me to go back to Toronto. 

    We eventually made it back to a little restaurant. There was as a tiny black cat who comforted me.

Exploring The Soul

 Nov 12, 2022

    I woke up as usual from a glorious slumber. I rolled out of bed and fell on the floor. Then I met up with my papa and went for breakfast. Along the way I saw ducks eating lentils off the sidewalk. I got so excited. 

    We ate some eggs and had coffee and watched the geckos climb the walls. It was our last day in that particular house. 
After breakfast we packed our suitcases. I made sure to steal a few things from the house so that I would have beautiful memories to look back on.
We ordered a taxi. While we waited my dad ordered me to go get us some chips. I walked the narrow streets and was nearly run over several times. I arrived at a store and bought some chips. The cashier told me I reminded her of Brad Pitt. I thanked her and we hugged. Then I walked back.

    So the taxi came and we were driven to our next house. It took an hour. We passed the time by sharing memories from our childhoods. My dad shared traumatic stories of growing up with parents who yelled a lot. I opened up and told him about some of my insecurities from when I was in middle school. We arrived at our destination as new people.

    I was pleased to find that my bedroom was way up on the third floor. I could see for miles. I could see the curvature of the planet from up there. I even saw beings from the Arcturian star system observing our beautiful planet from their craft. They said ‘hey’ by communicating telepathically through my heart space. 

    It suddenly began to rain. My dad and I went to a cafe and had coffee. Once again we chatted about our feelings. It was therapeutic and nourishing. Then we went to a restaurant and sat on the floor. We were served beautiful food. We chatted some more about our emotions. 

    After that we finished the night by going to a bar. We listened to live music. I had a hard time there because of the bright flashing lights. It felt like daggers stabbing my retinas. I stood up on the table and begged the owners to turn it off. No one listened. We payed our bills and went home. 

Beautiful Bali

 Nov 10,  2022

    I woke up and lay in bed for a while. I was thinking about how I’m upside down relative to everyone in Toronto.  

    I got dressed and went for breakfast with my papa. We laughed and talked about Jay Leno and stuff like that. We ate some eggs and drank coffee. It made us kinda high. 

    We made our way into town on some scooters. It was my first time driving them and I actually ran over two dogs. It’s my dads fault for not training me properly. 

    After we burned the dogs we went to a restaurant and got some more food. It was yummy. Then we went to a temple. We went there because my dad and I both needed to beg for forgiveness. We were both really bad this past year. We did some bad things and hurt some good people, especially my dad. 

    So yah, luckily we were forgiven. We went to a second temple on the edge of a cliff and looked out over the Pacific Ocean. It was so big and vast. It blew my mind and made me weep. There was so much water.
I saw a monkey snatch a ladies glasses and run up a tree. Some other lady ran over to help. She screamed and threw snacks at the monkey. She was trying to make a trade. It worked, and the monkey returned the glasses.

Starting Over

 Nov 9, 2022

    So I was at home when suddenly I got bored. I called out for some help. That's when the light shone through and turned me on. So I went to my computer and bought some plane tickets. I just clicked that button and did it. 

    And so over the next weeks I sold all my stuff and quit my job and quit everything and just threw in the towel and completely gave up. I cried down at Lake Ontario and asked for some guidance. I was shown a spiral staircase with ruby diamonds. It reminded me of something. 

    So then I walked out the door with a suitcase full off clothes and some random stuff to survive. I was pretty confused. I figured I’d made a mistake. 

    The taxi came and picked me up and took me to the airport. I boarded a plane and flew that bird high into the sky. I made a bee-line straight for Australia. I had this dream a year ago where my dad said I’d do that. I wasn’t surprised that it was happening for real now. 

    I landed in Sydney and ate McDonald’s. I felt so gross and so I had to crawl into a corner and weep as my stomach died. Then I flew another plane to Indonesia. It felt like the right thing to do. I landed and was pleased to find my suitcase was gone. It was back in Sydney. Whatever, I don’t need those clothes anyways. I got another ride to some house and randomly found my dad there waiting for me. We embraced and shared stories. We talked about how we were so confused these days. We went to sleep. 

    I woke up and remembered I was in Indonesia. I went outside and found all these green shrubs. I was so excited.

Movie Making

 Sep 25, 2022

    Dreams 

    I’m on the set of a James Cameron movie. It’s very intense. I’m very stressed out that I’m gonna mess something up and get kicked off the set. I remember that there was this folding table that I accidentally collapsed a couple of times. I remember that the little boy from The Shining was there. 

Girl Fighting

 Sep 24, 2022

    Dreams 

    I’m working at the Fox. The theatre is full of people. I suddenly smell smoke. I see that there’s these things on the ground near the back of the theatre. These things have small flames under them. I’m not sure what they were. I think some were ornamental, and some were using a flame to keep food on top warm. I ran over and threw water on the flames. Some guys who were watching me said that a previous lady had put out some other fires. She had missed a few.

    I was talking to a guy about computer programming. He said he thought I’d enjoy doing coding. 

    I was on the couch in the living room. I was reading a book. The windows were very big. They took up the whole wall. I was watching some sort of lumber yard outside. There were all these trees that were being loaded into trucks. The couch I was on began to move. I realized the couch was actually a truck as well. It started driving closer to all the trees. I realized they were going to load this truck up with trees. I stood and got off the couch but I forgot to grab my book. 

    I was visiting Salt Spring with Liam. I had signed up to play football. I regretted signing up though. I got to Dad’s friends house, who he calls ‘Space Ship Michael’. He lets Liam and I in. We go to his backyard where the football game is being held, although the football match has turned into a WWE match. I’m supposed to wrestle a girl, but Michael says the girl cancelled. I’m so relieved because I didn’t want to get beat up. We go back inside. It was suddenly dark. Liam and I were thinking we were going to have to hitch hike back. David from Beyond the Beat suddenly showed up in a bus. We drive back. We pass many shops. I remember passing a paint ball place. I can’t remember where we were heading. 
I was with nana and another very old lady. Nana wanted to make the old lady blind for some reason. We stabbed something small into her eyes. Then the three of us were on a dock and we were walking back to shore. The dock was very narrow. We had to hold the blind woman’s hand as we walked. The old lady dropped some change into the water. She jumped in after it. She was diving down like a duck. She would come up for air and then dive down again looking for her change. She eventually found it and hopped out.

    I was in a class. Jordan Peterson was the teacher and Gina from Salt Spring was the student next to me. We were building little papier-mâché things. It was like an arts and crafts shop.   

The Second Church

 Sep 23, 2022

    Dreams 

    I’m at the Fox. Jade, my neighbour, is ordering from me. I think that in the dream Jade used to work there. I remember at one point Jade’s mom poked her head through the door to the theatre. I think the family might have owned the Fox in the dream?

    Before that there was another girl who was ordering. She was with a guy and she also used to work there. 

    I was outside with a group of people. We were walking down a lane that was covered in grass. There were old buildings on either side of the lane. It was evening. We came up to a church. The person leading us said there used to be a second church next to this one. I was able to see in my mind how it once looked. The man said they had torn one of the buildings down. We went up the steps and into the church. It was tiny inside, there was only one room. We all sat in a circle. I think Gary Nolan was our guide. He was holding a big stack of books, which we passed around. They were all copies of ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’. I didn’t take one because I already had my own copy with me. 

The Simulation Thickens

 Sep 20, 2022

    His late ankle is split for now. Can you take his eyes off yours? I wanna see what colour that makes. I’m just wondering, but don’t worry about it. it’s ok. It's just random stuff. It's     all easy now. You’re a fire of flames! That is like a shower with hot coals on your back and up your ass. Have you seen your ego lately? I thought his cap was on too tight. Who did it? Me or you? I don’t remember. I guess it was a mutual thing. 

    Yah.

    I love you

    Love you too..

    I’m building this creation with my mind now! It’s gonna create power. And an energy! 

    This is easy like the wind. It’s all about coming to terms with your ass. Take it off your mind. Get it on to the land quickly. It needs healing. It wants to ask for turnips. 

    Have you seen the family? They’re on our lake now. 

    What? 

    Yah. They towed their whole house here. I’m getting so cared.

    Yah me too. I guess we should hide.
    For how long? Can’t we ever go home again?
    Maybe. C’mon though, we need to go now!! 

    So we all ran with that bastard. He took us through the woods. We wound up in Italy. That was a memory line no other. Now I’m old and poor and without real beauty. My face is on the opposite side of the room now.

    The woman began sobbing like a simulation. It was so fast and sped up!! The sounds too!! It made everything feel quite complicated. I zoomed back out so fast. Now I’m alive and well.

Twin Tin Towers

 September 18, 2022

    The leaves of fall are among us. They’re shining bright with signs of change. It’s in the air. Almost everyone can feel this. Most of us are psychic, I guess. Those who aren’t are as well, they’ve just long forgotten. But that’s not the point. What I’m trying to say is that I love you. I want you to remember that. I only want you to know light. In order for this to become manifest  you must know darkness. Don’t worry, because we’re always just over your shoulder when you need us. But honestly, you’re pretty self sufficient at this point. You’re more independent than you give yourself credit for. You’re not as naive as you think.
It’s just that you’re always thinking about the sun. It’s not a conscious thing. It’s happening below the surface. You can’t stop thinking about it. It overwhelms you with awe. It does for most of us. It’s so powerful, relative to you and your planet. It’s mighty. But you know this is only an illusion. You know that the same fire is within you. It’s within all of you. It’s burning bright and hot. You feel it, but you’re so used to it that you don’t notice it. It’s the kinda thing you’d only notice if it were removed. That would be a real shocker if that happened. 

    Those sea lions are communists. They were actually put there by Stalin in the last century. No one bothered to keep tending to the beasts after the collapse of the Soviet Union. Now they just live out on the rocks and eat squid. They’re not natural animals. They didn’t evolve like that. They were made in a lab, deep below Moscow. They made all sorts of beasts down there. They actually invented kangaroos. Kangaroos are not natural. They were built by communists and then deposited into Australia. The soviets also invented penguins and wombats. You know that I speak the truth. Don’t fight the feeling. Just get over yourself. You’re a mightily small brained compared to the cosmos.

That man above is a fear mongerer. He’s trynna scare you into submission. You are not big or small. You’re both and neither. No such thing as size, really. It’s all relative, isn’t it. You are like clay that is constantly being molded. You’re just happy to be here. That’s a state that you wanna strive towards. Just happy to be here. Wherever here is.

    Inside of her is warm. But it’s also cold. Because it reminds me of my individuality. She is alone and she longs for hands on her body. She calls me into her room. She’s under the covers, but I’m kinda tired of this game. Besides, the sheets smell stale and there’s dust on all the ledges. I wish she would transform this place. I wish we would move. This house is sinking into anxiety. It’s rattling back and forth at a speed that is so rapid, that we almost don’t notice it. But we do. I do, at least. I think she see this as normal. I keep telling her it’s not. I tell her that we could live better than this. I need her to trust me, but I also need her to trust herself. I can’t do all the work here. I need some help and I don’t know who to ask. She’s always blaming herself. I’m scared she’s gonna do something bad.

    Have you seen the twin towers? Have you felt the tin? They’re made of tin. The twin tin towers. 

The Race Track

 Sep 17, 2022

    His yellow tooth was missing. It was brought to my attention that I’d stolen it. They say I took his tooth while he was asleep. I said that this was a lie. I have no memory of stealing his tooth. They said I was also sleeping- I had slept walk into his room and removed his yellow tooth. How could I defend myself? What was one to do? I just thought about going to the market and being alone for a while. I put on my shoes and got my horse. I rode that beast fast. We found ourselves in a forest. We were surrounded by lights from above. I got very excited. I asked them for directions. They said to go within. 

    The next day my whole body was tingling. I knew that they were with me, all the time, giving me little energy bursts that feel nice and relaxing. It made my scalp tingle and my arms feel warm. I told them that they were welcome anytime and that I would do my part in telling the world. I would share with the world what I knew. I knew this was something that would happen whether I was aware of it or not. They’d always been there, I’d come to realize.

    It’s only on weekends when the race track is open to the public. During the week it’s where senators go to have sex. They fuck on the asphalt. They make a real mess of the place. The public has no idea. I only know because I often leave my body to go investigate mysteries. I had been told by some friends that there was something funny going on at the race track. People were reporting screams and howls of horror. I got up from my body and floated over. I hid behind a bumble bee. I was expecting to see the army torturing aliens or reverse engineering a UFO. Instead I saw an orgy on a grand scale. It was devastating. My whole concept of reality was shattered. 

    

    Dreams 

    I’m at an open mic. It’s on Queen street where 6ix pizza is in real life. I perform some songs. After I’m done I start to leave. I think Aksel gets up to perform. As I’m walking away I get the feeling that he’s playing one of my songs. It reminds me a lot of ‘On My Own’. 

    I walk up to Glen Ames. I realize I’m dreaming. I see a teacher walking in front of the building. I find her attractive. I go over and talk to her. I ask if I can go inside the school. I tell her I used to be a student there a couple years ago and that I scratched something into the paint of my locker. I need to go inside and remind myself what I wrote. She says sure, but to hurry. I ask if I can give her a hug. She doesn’t want to. I ask if I can kiss her. She’s pushing me away. I give up and go over to the entrance of the school. I enter. 
I don’t really remember much about the inside except when I’m leaving. I remember that some guy was chasing me. I don’t think I was that scared, it might have been because I knew I was dreaming. I remember at one point he was getting close, and I did this interesting thing where I shifted my perspective from my body to the whole room. I was outside the room, being the room, and I started willing it to fill up with water so that the man would be swept away. 

    Afterwards I remember being back at the bottom of the street. 6ix Slices was there now. I was eating with some people. I noticed again that I was dreaming. I looked around and saw there was a cute girl sitting in a different group. I went over to her and asked if I could touch her legs. She said yes. I told her I’d like to feel her vagina. She said sure. I tried to do this but I remember she started talking to me. Her and her friends wanted to chat and so I had to wait until they were finished. I don’t think they finished. 
I know that at some point I actually started meditating when I realized I was dreaming. That’s what my plan is for when I lucid dream. I want to start meditating. I know that at some point I did, because I have a vague memory of sitting down on some big concrete structure and observing my breath. 

    I’m at a restaurant with the family. It’s Holly’s birthday but she’s like two years old. They brought her a cake and she blew out a candle. I remember there was a fire place, and a different baby was staring into the flames. Someone gave Holly a science magazine for her birthday. She was flipping through it. Gary Nolan and his wife were there. His wife said that all the science in that magazine was known thanks to her husband. She tells Holly that one day maybe she will see all the places in the magazine. Gary Nolan tells me about a recent trip to Antarctica. I ask if he went with any theories he was trying to gather evidence for. He said yes. He wanted to find out if there was evidence of a lot of ice that had rapidly melted. We started talking about Atlantis and aliens. I asked him how a species can still have fun and feel fulfilled once they get to a point where they know all there is to know. He starts talking to his wife and they’re speaking quietly. I start to meditate as I wait for his reply. Then I woke up. 

    I was lying in bed but it was a dream. I knew that there was something walking down the steps outside of the door. I knew it wasn’t nice. Suddenly I was aware that some sort of guardian angel had zapped it with some energy. I heard the thing fall down the stairs. I knew it was dead. 

    I’m on a small passenger plane. There’s a young guy talking to me. He’s telling me that he wants to apologize to the pilot about something. I tell him to just go up and knock on the door. He goes and does so. I was then in the cockpit. I’m watching us descend. There’s a town below us. We’re landing in a big road. I’m not sure why. The plane does a U-turn when it lands. It becomes a horse and I’m riding it. I see mom I think. I think I tell her to get on with me. 

    I’m in Montreal. There’s this long dried up river bed, and there’s the city on either side. There’s concrete walls on either side of the river bed and they’re covered with all sorts of interesting art. Someone is telling me that the city wanted to get rid of the art and make the walls white. The people didn’t like this idea. I start walking back with Matthew. He tells me that his dog Mento is sick and might die soon. He wants to get home quick. We start running, but we end up running into his whole family who are going for a walk. His parents ask me when I’m performing with my band again. I tell them I’m no longer in that band, but that I play open-mics. 

The Goat's Love

 Sep 16, 2022

    The walls of sound were getting heavier. They were distorting time. I felt sick. I jumped into the river and sank beneath the surface. I met a wise fish who told me to start singing. I did so. I actually sang Hey Jude. This made the fish mad. He accused me of being a preacher. I told him he was wrong. I swam away. I came to a dome. It was glowing from within. I tapped on the dome. Someone answered me in Japanese. I thought this was funny, because I was still in Toronto. I was surprised to find a secret Japanese base under the water. 

    The girl was sucking my neck. It felt good. It made me feel young again. I almost woke up, but instead I let myself drift higher and higher until I was above the clouds. Now the sun was setting and casting a glow upon the world. Everyone below had exploded into flames. They went screaming into eternity. I thought that was funny. I took a photo and posted it to my blog. 

    His book is allowed to know certain things, but not everything. That would be wrong. That would cause a tearing of all that is holy and sacred to my people. The time is not right for such things to be known. Maybe on Tuesday you can know. That is when I might pull back the curtains from your eyes. Are you ready for that? Some may think they want to see all there is. Some have been shown. Not all have reacted well. Many of them lost their minds and went to work on Wall Street. This has happened. Is this a risk you’re prepared to take? Be honest with me. 
You remind me of an ugly dog I once caught. I caught him in a trap down by the river. I had to trap him, for he kept raping my goats. That was too far. That was too close to hell. So I set up a trap. I placed a naughty magazine atop a deep hollowed out pit. When that ugly pooch wandered towards the magazines, he fell and was trapped. I came over and shot him in the paw for being so cruel. Then I burned him and sold his bits for money. I told morons that they were holy pieces worthy of worship. They bought it all up and prayed to their bits. Turns out the power of the mind is stronger than I thought. Their worship imbued the bits with love and wisdom. This created a sort of bubble around our town. It was good. It kept positive vibrations inside. 

Dreams 

    I’m in a house. There’s a party going on. I’m talking to my crush. She has a cigarette. She says that she’s actually about to go on a date with a guy. My whole insides felt like they died when she said that. After she said that I felt like I had no interest in even being around her. I just lost complete interest and kinda wanted to get away. I asked her what they were doing for the date. She said they were going to see a movie. 

    I’m at Lee and Lisa’s house. There’s a bunch of guests there and we’re all sat in a ring in the living room. I’m telling them all about the UFO’s. I tell them that aliens aren’t trying to hurt us.

    Brian comes over. He gets in bed with me, but at the other end. We’re both under the blankets chatting. He’s talking about wanting to try acid. He also is stressed because he’s been getting weird sensations on his body. I tell him it’s probably spirits performing reiki on him. Later on we’re outside and we buy some pizza. I remember seeing a girl at a food stand cooking food in a frying pan. She’s tossing the food up in the pan. 

    I’m at a cliff. There’s stairs that go part way down so that you can look at the view. I’m there with my crush and her brother and I think Liam. My crush and her brother are very little. They’re like 5 and 6. I think I’m actually carrying one of them so that they can see over the fence. We’re all watching the waves below. They’re crashing up against the rocks. 

    Later on I’m at Lee and Lisa’s. Now the kids are very very young, like babies. I’m holding the boy. He’s fallen asleep in my arms. Someone brings over a little crib and I gently lay him down. Someone brings over the girl, and lay her down as well. 

I'm The Lite Light

 September 14, 2022

    All the hens of the world. UNITE! Get together and just make love. I don’t get some of these people. It’s like they talk and talk about love. But then they’re so quick to judge or accuse certain people of being reptilians. I don’t understand. It just feels like so much judgement. It feels like everyone is always accusing everyone else of oppressing them. It’s so exhausting. 

    Am I doing it now? I guess so.
So on the other side of the boat was my Angel. She was there floating next to the boat.

    “What year is it?” I asked her.

    “It’s 1478. And you’re the captain of this boat. Remember when you smashed the bottle of wine against the hull?” 
    “I remember,” I laughed, staring into the ocean. “I was only 17 when we left the city! Now I’m 400! Time flies when you’re horny!”

    Last night I was inside of the universe. I can’t remember how I got there, but I guess I'm stuck here now, for all of eternity. 

    Even the rays of light are bored. They’re getting so lazy and so that is what inspired me to start a medical school. I wanted answers. I wanted to find the tick-tick noise that I could hear coming from my chest. I wanted to know what was happening inside. Was there a master in me? Was I really a Devine being of pure love and light? I can’t be sure, but I’m gonna know before I die, that’s for sure. I’m like on a race to find out, and everyone else is just a yellow nascar. I’m a jet that uses vegetable oil to power my engine. I’m very advanced. I can fly backwards. It’s the most exciting thing. It can happen at any moment. I’ll just be sitting there with my angel on my head, when suddenly the sun will come into the room and ask me for a nickel. I’ll tell that orb of love to get a job. I will laugh like the little beings on Neptune. Those freaks laugh at rocks. They’re so weird. Whatever. I want to join them after this incarnation. 

Layers of Lactose

 Sep 11, 2022

    His shoulder is attached to his hip at all times. It’s their right now. You can see for yourself. It’s poking around down there. There’s actually very little that is unknown at the point. We are really really on top of all the wisdom that there is.

    “And this is ok?” Asked the woman from the shore. She was living there and she was completely naked for most of her life but then she was zapped into a form and lived on the planet with some other beings. It was just normal, you know what I mean?

And this was going on for twenty years. The Kia later found out. They ran away after. Before them was terror. It was evil. Horrible lines of black and white. It took all the life away. But not really- I mean it did from one perspective, but from another everything was just fine as usual. 

    This area is stilling explored by the youth. They’re everywhere these days. I was young, once. It was in the last century. That was a golden time for me. I was like a whale. I was. I was talked about. That was then and this is know. Now i’m dead weight! I’m lame and yellow. It took seven days just to loosen up! Now I’m alive again! Now I’m attracting seven members of the KKK! They’re allowing this.

    I took off and ran way fast. That was then and this is now. Now I’m seventy eight and we’re allowed to talk to angels. It’s a really cool experience because we can know so much. It’s like a whole new way of being. It’s attractive to you isn’t it? It’s getting your nuts in a bind? 

I Wanna Smoke

 Sep 9, 2022

    All the way down are cherubs. They’re little black beings with tiny faces who sit on walls and attack kid who look their way. I know that it sounds weird but hear me out. Remember when you were in the woods and the sun was setting? Remember there was that feeling of needing to get back to the shuttle? That’s where the gold was. 

    That day was the first time you ever saw those black beings! They came out of the woods, zapped you with their cocks, and then flew you down to Singapore for some noodles! THAT is the truth, you racist dictator.

    The angry lady was hurting. In fact, she was hurting so bad that it caused so much pain in her feet. It started to multiply and then something very strange happened. It was basically a lifting of the tectonic plates. All the cities were catapulted into the sky. Many beings died. They met their moms on the other side. They also learned that this whole time they’d been fucking their relatives. They had no idea… 

    But more on that later. For now I’d like to bring your attention back to a more serious issue. It involves cocks. I need you to admire the man penis. Pleases appreciate for a moment just how EFFICIENT this technology is. It sends little babies to the point of no return.. they never knew what hit them. This is very serious stuff, buddy. You feel my sorrow?

    I feel like I’m expecting some pain. I’m supposed to be suffering. I’m supposed to hurt. I’m wanting some excitement. What the fuck. Why do I need this rush. Goddddddd. What the fuck. I just want it but then I feel like shit later on. But fuckkkkkkkk I’m spending so much time craving!!!! It’s the strangest thing. It really boggles the mind and forces one to ask the question- am I a sherpa? 

    That’s so cool. That colour up their in the sky is the same colour as my soul. It’s violet!!! And it’s got tentacles. Please take me to heaven so I can understand better. Please let me feel your tits so that I may know the riddles of the universe. Neil and Bob and Larry are waiting for me in eternity. I want to see their faces when they realized how wrong they were. But they’re me. Why do I want suffering for myself? Why do I wanna go out and smoke? I fucking really really want to. I wanna go smoke a joint by the water, listen to some music, come back and eat junk food and watch videos about cool things like aliens and ancient civilizations. And then I’d play some music and do some more random writing. I fucking want to do this. And I gotta suffer and keep saying no non no no no no for some reason. It just hurts. I just wish I didn’t crave weed in the first place. I’m so excited to leave this house. There’s an energy here that makes me do things impulsively. I noticed it when I got back from the retreat and dog sitting. As soon as I stepped into the house I could just feel this funny feeling. It’s hella strong. 

Papa Phil

 August 12, 2022

    Last night was the final super moon of the year. I went for a walk after work to check it out. I got a slice of pizza and sat by the lake. It was very bright and peaceful. I even saw a few shooting stars. 

Last night I had one interesting dream in particular. I may have had more but I can’t remember. 
In the dream I was walking down Beech Avenue. I remember that there were other cars, but suddenly there weren’t. I looked up towards Queen Street and saw that all the people and the traffic had disappeared. There was a silence, and things felt still and darker somehow. I knew immediately that this might have something to do with UFO’s, because it’s how many people described their experiences to Dolores Cannon. As soon as I suspected aliens my whole body seemed to be taken over. It was like all this energy was suddenly in me. I can’t remember how it felt, expect that it was very very weird. I don’t think I was in pain. It was just a very weird feeling. I remember flailing my head and my arms around sorta like a rag doll. I think I was probably trying to stay calm and not resist, but I don’t remember anything after that.

    Later on in the night I had another dream where it happened again. This time I think I was able to be more accepting of it. I felt like they happened back to back so that I might become used to it. A lot of these interesting dreams often have the feeling of a ‘simulation’. They feel like a training course, like I’m learning how to integrate an experience. The dreams I feel the best from are the ones were I never react with fear during an interesting experience. The ones where I try my best to accept and just feel are the dreams that I wake up feeling the most excited from.

I remember another dream where I was in the Fox. There was a man and his wife and they were upset about something. They were arguing with me. I remember making lots of jokes. I wanted to end the arguing and bring us together. By the end of the conversation we’d become friends. We may have even hugged. That dream made me feel really good, because it’s an ability I would really like to have in day to day life.

I always want to end arguments in a positive way. Sometimes people are angry at the Fox. I don’t like it when that happens. I try so hard not to absorb their anger. Sometimes it feels like I can’t. Like they’ve decided to stay angry no matter what. I don’t know what to do in those moments. I guess I have to just accept them like that. Although part of me says no, it’s not acceptable to let people speak to you like that. Part of me really wants to learn how to debate effectively so that I don’t have to feel like I’m being stepped on. Even sometimes when I see people being rude to someone else in public. I would like to help in those situations but I don’t want to make the situation worse. Some people like Dr. Phil seem so good at taking control of a situation and steering it to a place where people can become closer. I would like to learn those tricks. 

The Dog Bite

 August 11, 2022

    Have you ever seen a shooting star ripple across the sky? I have. It’s blue. It can also be anything you want. It’s allowed to grow over time, even if you don’t like that. You gotta learn to raise yourself up above the mud if you ever wanna get off this planet. You can come back again when it’s all pretty and the issues have been resolved. But for now you need to learn to go inside yourself and raise your vibration. It’s the kinda thing that can definitely be learned. It’s also the kinda thing that will eventually be easy for you. It’s like getting up off the couch. That’s very easy for you to do. There was a time, when you were very small, when this was a very hard task. It took years to learn to stand freely and reposition yourself. It’s the same kinda thing as raising your vibration and literally learning to float. That will be so easy for you soon. You used to do it all the time. You still do it now sometimes, without even realizing. 

    For now you’re here, on this earth, learning lessons and helping those that need help. It’s an experience. You’re getting so much out of this visit. It’s all happening very quickly. 

    Last night I had this really interesting dream. There was a dog and it kept biting my hand, but I was just focusing on the sensation, and realizing that I could feel the strong pain without reacting at all. It felt like I was in some sort of training centre- as opposed to getting attacked by some dog. I could feel the sensation of being bit, and the feeling was soooo strong. But I could just observe it objectively. It was so interesting. And this was in the dream, but I remember the intensity of the feeling on my arms, and how after a few seconds of observing it became soooo easy to just feel it and not react. It stopped feeling like it was happening to ME. It was just this feeling that I could feel totally and fully, but I didn’t have to have any fear or pain. It was so interesting.
I also remember a dream where I was performing ‘On My Own’ for some people.

Growing Energy

 August 10, 2022

    Today is pretty. There’s construction going on outside. There always is in the summer. It’s pretty loud. They’re tearing up the street. 

    I’m going to do a 10 day meditation retreat in a week. I’m really excited- I think I’m gonna get a lot out of this one. 

    I started reading The Convoluted Universe this morning. It’s really exciting so far. 

    Last night was interesting. When I was lying in bed to go to sleep I was just feeling this intense energy in my chest. I didn’t go for a walk before bed, which I normally do. I debated getting up to take the walk but I didn’t. I fell asleep pretty quick. Well at about 2 am I woke up. I don’t really remember waking up. I just remember I was standing over on the carpet. I think I was walking back and forth? There was this enormous energy. It’s the kinda feeling or sensation that has happened a couple times before. It’s hard to explain, and the dream that was happening is even harder to explain, mainly because I don’t really remember. 

    The common thread between these experiences is always the intensity of the potential energy. That’s the part that always scares me quite a bit. It’s not so much that the energy I’m feeling is so strong. It’s the awareness that there is this unimaginable amount of potential energy. I remember sleeping at nana’s one time and in the dream I just saw all these pipes. I was looking at some sort of huge machine, or system. I think it wanted to take over the world. The energy that I felt that it could potentially unleash was enormous, and it scared me. It woke me up crying and nana came. I remember saying that ‘it was too late’. 

    There was another one like that when I was little. In the dream I was in a war and I was hiding from soldiers. They were looking for me. The entity of their army or government or country or whatever was so so powerful. I had to hide from them. In the dream I was in this little ravine and went under a bridge. On the other side I met this thing. I don’t remember what it looked like, except that it was the source of this energy. It was so strong. And it was evil. It was laughing at me. It was just so powerful. There’s a certain quality that these dreams have that I can’t explain in words. It’s actually closer to a ‘taste’. I can’t remember that quality too well once I’ve woken up. 

    Last night I had it again. I don’t really remember the dream. I do remember that this time I was the one building up the energy. It was almost like maybe I was about to roll a die, and I was the one determining the potential energy or influence of a given outcome. I remember at first the energy wasn’t anything unusual, but I deliberately raised it. I was thinking ‘well what if it was stronger- stronger than anyone or anything could ever comprehend’ and once I started thinking that I began to feel it. And it was scary, because it was growing really fast and it felt like it was passing this point of no return. But it was like it hadn’t happened yet. It was just a potential. But if I kept building it up then it would become a reality that I wouldn’t be able to reverse. And at this point I was awake. Maybe not fully awake, but more like sleep walking. I was walking on the carpet experiencing this potential. 
That’s the closest way in words I can put it. 

    So anyways, I decided to get dressed and go for a walk. The energy that was in my body was so strong and powerful. It kinda felt like I was being pulled apart energetically, like I was splitting apart. It was stronger than taking the LSD. So I went for a walk. I felt kinda scared for a little bit. I sat on a bench by the water for a bit. I tried to calm myself by feeling my body, but that’s when I would realize just how strong the energy was. It actually helped to distract myself. I saw a racoon and said hi and that little distraction really helped. I went back home, took a bite from someone’s spicy burrito and got back in bed. I felt much better at that point. 

    I wonder if any of that had anything to do with the day yesterday. I was a very eventful day. I went downtown and played music pretty much the whole day. It’s the kinda day I’ve wanted to make real for so long. I started at the bridge by the CN Tower. I played guitar and sang for about an hour. I made a little boy piss himself! He got really excited while watching me. I saw all this pee suddenly running down his legs. 

    After that I played out front of the AGO for a little bit. Then I met up with Bryan. He said I looked a lot skinnier. April had said the same thing. I feel very healthy and full of energy, so I think it’s ok. I don’t want to do something that’s going to be bad for my health, but I do think I’m eating less. But I don’t think that’s bad. I feel good. 

    I got a slice of pizza and then we sat in Grange Park. I played my guitar and sang while Bryan did some reading for school. 

    Afterwards I played an open mic at Free Times Cafe. Bryan went home to do school work. We met up afterwards for a bit. I took the subway home.

    I felt pretty good about the day. I’d played music a ton and actually made money doing it! I wanted to do this for the practise of playing, and to maybe make a positive impact on people. I didn’t think I would make much money. I’m making far more than I expected. I really want to help raise the vibration of this planet if I can. It’s hard to know if I’m doing anything. I would like to find a way that I could reliably measure the impact I make on my surroundings, positive or negative. That would be such a cool ability to have. I want to optimize my behaviour so that it raises the vibration wherever I go. I don’t want to be playing music to make money. The money is a nice bonus. I want to feel like I’m helping in some way, even if it’s helping at a subconscious level, or even if it’s helping beings that I can’t see. Or maybe it’s helping me more than anyone else? I don’t know. But I would like to be able to measure and know these things. But it’s ok if I don’t know too, until much later. 

    It’s interesting that this dream was the first I can remember where I was the one responsible for creating the energy. Those other dreams involved something or someone else creating it.