Jan 25, 2024
Today I’m at the house and I’m thinking about love. I’m starting to find holes in my blanket. It’s where my cock got stuck last night. I woke up in so much pain. I screamed for help. That’s when I remembered to call my grandma.
She was fast asleep. She was lying on her side. She heard the phone ring. She got excited. She snatched it up. “Hello??”
“Gran! It’s me!” I wailed. “My cock is stuck! I can’t get it out!”
“How’d this happen to you?”
“I was asleep. I was in a deep trance. Fire invaded my dreams. I awoke to find that I was still in pain!”
“From which point did the pain originate?” Inquired my gran.
“It was the head of my long cock. It was held captive.”
My gran began moaning. She had so much compassion.
“Don’t ever lose hope!” She instructed. “God works for those who ask! Ask the lord for a helping hand!”
No more work at the airport for now. I worked there for three days. They said they probably don’t need me today or tomorrow. It’s ok.
Later today I’m going to the greek restaurant. I’m doing a sorta interview/training thing. That will be good.
No more lessons on cubes. If only I could take a lesson on typing. That rule is banned, unfortunately. I thought that there were God’s who were trynna talk to me. Then I noticed that it’s happening all the time. I noticed that even though I can’t see them, I can still feel them under my nails.
It’s like a worm that moves through the soil. It gets trapped between bricks of mud. Then the villagers find it. They scream with joy! They yank the worm from the earth. They carry it home on their shoulders! The worm begs and begs for mercy. He is ignored. He pleads as he is covered in fresh herbs. Then he is roasted over a warm fire. Still he begs for love.
Have you always been so long?” Asked the doctor.
“Yes, I was always that long,” Replied the boy scout.
“How did you know to find me?”
The boy scout looked into the sky. He blinked four times in rapid succession! “I was the victim of a felony. I was seized from my crib. I was raised on a fishing boat in the Indian Ocean. We used to eat fish for breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner! There was no getting out of it! Birds were a delicacy, when we could catch one!”
The doctor scribbled rapidly on his notepad. Then he sighed. He removed his sunglasses. “This is not getting any better, is it.”
“No it’s not!” Cried the lad, burying his freckled face into his hands.
Suddenly ‘Getting Better’ by The Beatles wafted through the window. It was coming from someones car! The boy scout and the doctor stared at each other in wonder.
“It’s a glitch in the matrix!” Screamed the doctor.
The boy scout stood up and shook the doctor’s hand. “This was the sign I needed. Thank you!”
The lad put his underwear and pants back on. Then he saluted the photograph of a famous general. He left the room, his head held high.