April 16, 2024
The last few days have felt intense. I tried to quit my job the other day. Working with Dimitri is too much for me. He’s been following me around and critiquing everything little thing I do. It sees endless.
I told Despina that I hadn’t been feeling very good lately. I told her that maybe I should quit. She said to go talk to Dimitri. I went outside and found him. I told him that I thought I should quit. He started talking a whole bunch. He started telling me all the things I was doing wrong. He kept going and going. He seemed to be telling me to stay. I was kind of confused.
I asked why he wanted me to stay, if I wasn’t doing very well. He basically just talked for a long time. I just sat there and nodded my head and said’ yup yup yup’. He used a lot of words to basically say I wasn’t trying very hard and that I should stay and try again.
I’ve felt completely exhausted. I don’t ever feel calm or relaxed when Dimitri is around. I’m constantly on edge. Even my dreams are filled with arguments. That energy seems to follow me around.
He’s constantly changing the way he does stuff around the shop. And he seems to think he’s been doing everything the same way for 40 years. He’s always accusing me of not listening to him.
He wants things done the way he does them. He’s like this controlling dictator.
It’s the opposite of all the jobs I’ve ever had. Quality and consistency are usually the most important things. Everyone at the Fox had a slightly different way of doing things. As long as the job was done well.
He would say that he agrees with that, but what he really wants is for me to mirror his every move. He also seems to want me to match his energy, which is chaotic and frantic.
And I can’t talk with him. It literally feels like arguing with a bird or a robot. I don’t feel like there’s anybody there. It feels like speaking to a shell. It feels like he’s never really listening.
He’s meant to go to Greece for all of May. That means I’ve got another week and a half of him. I don’t want to be working there when he gets back.
I’ve got $1000 left on my credit card. That feels pretty amazing. It should be payed off pretty soon. It seems to be going pretty fast. I think I only got down to $1900 when I left Melbourne. I don’t know why I payed off so little. I guess because I was drinking so much.
It had gone all the way back to $4500 when I moved into this place. I don’t know how that happened. I wasn’t drinking at all in New Zealand. The most expensive thing I bought was a lens, which was $800. The hostels were also extremely expensive. It still amazes me how it can add up so fast.
The debt started when I left Yoga and Pablo’s place. So it’s been about a year of trying to pay it off.
Working for Jane and Mark has been the exact opposite of Dimitri's. It’s a real dream job. I feel pretty lucky to have found it. I started working with them on Sundays as well. I take Jane to church in the evening.
A great big cruise ship sails through the sea.
Sea horses and turtles swim beneath the hull.
The sun shines bright and happily.
An island full apes watch the approaching ship.
Everyone is waving from the ocean liner.
The captain laughs in the cockpit.
Children are fishing from the side of the boat.
The bats from above are floating in the air.
A fishing boat laughs as they are eaten by sharks.
Hungry whales swim through the ocean. They eat up all of the life.
A UFO floats below the sea.