I feel kinda sad. I just want to have people care about all the things I make. I really really need to practise Joe Dispenza’s things. I know I need to get out of this low vibration of feeling empty.
I finished a video today. It took so long to make. Like 2-3 days. I need a job. I have no money. I feel pretty insecure about that. I think I’ll feel a lot better about myself once I start making money.
I’m alone at the top of a hill. There’s a red tree nearby. There’s three aliens standing around the base. They’re watching me, sensing me. They love me. They call me home now.
I float towards them and we lift into the air. We speak with our minds. We laugh a lot. We have so many memories together. They ask how I’m so brave. I say that I don’t understand. They explain that everything I’m doing is very courageous. It’s all planned. It’s all something that I've agreed to.
I’m experiencing everything for a reason. I tell them it doesn’t always feel that way. I wish it felt that way more often. I say that it feels like I’m making a lot of mistakes, or like I’m not clever enough or something. Like there’s this piece of the puzzle that I just can’t figure out.
And if I just understood that simple thing than all the other pieces would fit into place.
They tell me to practise patience, and to remember to breath deep, and to observe the universe within myself. All the answers lie there.
Remember your blog? That’s what you care about. That’s the ultimate goal. All this other stuff doesn’t really matter. Keep doing it, but remember that it’s all for the blog. That’s the cool place. The rest is silly. You don’t care about being a YouTuber. YouTube is just a potential medium for channeling people to your blog.
