Oct 15, 2023
I’ve been drinking so much lately. Almost everyday. So many cringy memories. Some fun moments, but most of it is just cringe.
I always seem to ramble about cringy things. Like trying to explain to everyone what the meaning of everything is. I become so cocky. I just feel like I have all the answers or something.
Maybe that’s not true actually. There’s moments that are fun for sure, but the whole thing is just insane. I’m completely destroying myself and my life. Everything that I care about quickly falls away. I just become perpetually hung over and tired and buzzed.
I really can’t believe I was sober for nearly 3 years. That feels like this amazing time that somehow got away from me.
I have some sort of gut feeling of the little things I’m supposed to do. The daily routines that are good. I used to run every morning. I used to write something and post it everyday. I don’t know if that stuff made me happier, but it did feel somehow right and like it was good for me in some larger way that I could just sense.
I’m gonna try and commit to writing everyday again. I want to post things again but I feel scared. I guess because it’s been so long.
Today, though, is day 1 of being sober from alcohol and weed.
The tiny house was just sitting there. So many kids threw rocks at the windows. Nobody respected the old thing.
The strongest of the kids was always getting laid.