Dec 20, 2023
The lacquer on the wall looks so attractive. I actually wanna run over and fuck it. Then I wanna sell my soul. I’ll sell it for a good price.
So the next day I took a few good photos of my soul. I posted an add on Facebook Marketplace. 50 assholes messaged me within an hour!
One lady seemed nice. She said she’d love to buy my soul. She would use it for her dog. That way her dog would be man-like in nature. I said ok, but asked if she could make the payment. I was charging $50. She said that she would do whatever was necessary to find me the money.
The sun had set. It was evening. The owls were on the roof shitting all over my cars. I heard a knock at the back door. I army-crawled towards the door. I stuck my head through the cat-flap.
“Hi! I’m here for the soul!” Said the lady. She was very friendly and had a big head and big hair.
“Oh yah,” I laughed. “Can you just put the money in my cheeks? Like a chipmunk!”
The lady turned red with laughter and agreed. I made sure to pucker my lips. I created a small slot for the coins to pass through. I was pretending to be like a machine that takes coins!
“This is crazy!” She said as she inserted $50 worth of coins through my lips and into my cheeks.
To this day I think about that lady. I sit in my house and wonder how she’s enjoying my soul. I pray that she was happy with her purchase. That’s all I ask for.