December 10, 2023
Wallace stood up from his spot on the beach. He absorbed the sun’s rays.
It took him 9 million years to wake up. The earth was gone when he opened his eyes. He was floating through a yellow cathedral. The beach boys were playing on a stage. They were surrounded by ferns and flowers. A stained glass window let heavenly rays into the room.
The crowd was filled with CIA operatives. They were serious. They had no emotion on their faces. They could smell burning toast.
The light erupted from the roof of the building. The surfers exited the hole and sailed down the path of love. They met bunnies and church people.
“Come with us to church?” Asked a young girl.
“That’s a wonderful idea!” Wailed the surf-leader. He ordered his friends into a military line. They duck-walked through the front doors of the heavenly temple.
The Liars stood at the front of the room. They ordered the universe onto its knees. They forced the children to surrender their hearts. The Lord watched in grief.
The teacher finished reading his story. He closed the book and began to tremble with grief.
“Don’t cry!” Said a student. “You have given us so much. We shall always remember your compassion!”
The students stood and began clapping in agreement.
The teacher fainted. He began to dream of a wonderful world with sea horses and black office buildings- the world of a dictator’s wet dream.
The students took their studies seriously. They forced their pencils deep into their textbooks. The paper burned from the intense friction. A thick smoke set off the sprinkler system. The library became heavy with water. The entire school sunk beneath the waves.
Bryan Cranston was eating ribs when he heard the news. “The students had their lives cut short,” Bryan whispered into his meat. “Have I been spoiled thus far? Have I let life pass me by? Have I grown old and heavy? Am I not content with my contributions?”
The night was a long one for Bryan. He stood tall and erect in the corner of his room. His eyes were fixed on old family portraits. He questioned everything.
“Have I let my ancestors down?” He mused. “Have I been a burden on my employees and on my children?”
The rising sun offered little solace for the depressed man. He rode his red convertible to the beach. He watched the young girls fuck their boyfriends in the ocean surf. He grew horny. He became inspired to make something of his life.
The CN Tower was attacked by an angry man. That’s what the paper’s read. The truth was more obvious. It was all a part of a chess game. This was a clever move. The men back in their mountain cavern clapped like excited warriors. They felt closer to being in control. They could finally feel something in their legs! The pulse of foreword movement was a wonderful sensation.