March 11, 2023
I’m here in my room in Caloundra. This morning I talked to one of mom’s friends on the phone. She’s gonna help me with my life.
Fuck I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do about the blog. I really want to write totally free, but then I don’t want people reading things that are completely honest. They might get hurt or upset. But I don’t want to censor myself. I guess that I’ll keep writing totally honestly, but choosing what I post to the blog.
I’m really struggling with getting things done lately. It’s weird. I’m at such a weird place in my life. So much uncertainty and insecurity. I think the insecurity just comes from not having a job. I really think that’s what it is. It’s the first time since I was like 17 that I’m not making money.
I know that there’s a whole universe inside of me. It’s just waiting for myself to relax so that I can dip inside. It’s always calling my name. Whether or not I choose to listen. It doesn’t matter. It always has time for me. It’s a maze, like a brain. It has shadows and bumps and treasures and rituals. Everyone burns their past. They go though tunnels over and over and over again. It’s totally normal. It’s natural.
This thing you call reality is not the whole thing. There is more. It goes deeper. Don’t worry that you sound insane for saying these things. It will help you to know that there are infinite beings with infinite opinions. It’s all going towards the same place anyways. It’s all drifting towards some sort of point.