Ramsay Runs the World

 Jun 29, 2023

    I’m in the room. I think I must let go of many things. I’m so attached. I can feel the effects. I’ve wanted to be famous for so long. Ever since I can remember. Ever since I was a little boy on Glenmore. I don’t know why. I need to let go of that. I’ve always known that being famous isn’t what I’d expect. I know that I’d get it and then feel not all that into it. So why have I wanted it so bad? For the last few years I've been obsessed with getting famous at 24, because that’s when John Lennon and Kurt Cobain got famous. I’m 24 now and lately I’ve felt so much pressure from myself. It’s such a part of my identity. It informs so much about how I see myself, the world, and my place in it. I want to start letting go of that. I don’t need that expectation for myself.
 

    Have you ever seen the sun? The way it reflects across the water? It lights up all the frogs. It makes them blind. I’ve seen this first hand. It makes me sick. I went looking for a doctor because those frogs needed my help. I walked into the back of a deli and found my man. He was operating on a cow. I walked up behind him and poked his butt. He turned around and looked at me in delight.

    “Hello, son!” He said. “How can I help you?”

    “I’m in need of a helping hand. Can you come with me? I need you to save the frogs.”

    “What’s wrong with them?” Asked the doctor.

    “They’re getting burned. I haven’t seen this kind of violence in a long time. Can you help me?”

    The doctor set down his tools and whispered words of love into the cow’s ear. Then he stroked its head. 

    So ten days later we finally arrived at the pond. I realized we were too late. There was a big tent with a chimney. There was black smoke billowing into the sky. 

    “What’s that smell?” Asked the doctor.

    “I have a bad feeling.”I responded. We walked into the tent and found skewers upon skewers of roasted frogs.

    “What’s going on here?” Screamed the doctor. He was panicking.

    “Chef Ramsay got here first,” I cried, pointing towards a stove. Chef Ramsay was leading a team of chefs. They were roasting my precious frogs. I fell to the floor in a heap of horror. I moaned and wailed. The doctor lifted my up and threw me over his shoulders. He carried me to his house and took care of me.

The Hall of Cock

 Jun 26, 2023

    My last sinning took place this morning. I bolted from my bed and stabbed a man. He fell to the floor in a pile of pain. I laughed at the sun. I dragged that corpse down main street. I dumped it in front of my sisters house. I doused the corpse in baby oil. I lit a match and stuck it up the dead man’s ass. The body exploded in fireworks. All the people walking by clapped and cheered. They thought it was a holiday. They were unaware of the sadness. I walked back home. I spent my evening in front of the TV. I watched every episode of American Idol. I fell asleep on the couch. I dreamt of flying dogs and girls with hair growing from their knees. It was a nightmare, that’s for sure.

    My long dick is dragging along the pavement. It’s getting all cut up and bloody. I need surgery. I need to fix this. I can’t stand the pain any longer. Some men think it’s hot. The women don’t like it. They think it looks gross. The men are into it. So many of them try to lick it up. I have to fend for my life on a daily basis. 

    Your life is circling around a point of infinite potential and love. Your whole life is round and bubbling and growing. It’s expanding. So much energy came into you last night. You handled it very well. You are lighting up like the whole universe. Your aura is starting to vibrate at a frequency that really stands out. Beings who visit will immediately notice you, because of your light. It is impossible to miss. You have lots of love and support. And all the time you are so unaware of who you really are. That part is so fun for us to see. You get to remember who you are. It’s an amazing process. It’s a part of nature unique to beings of your kind. You go from being unconscious to conscious. It’s happening within one lifetime. Most of humanity sees itself as being conscious. We would disagree in many ways. We actually don’t see your species as being that different from the animals on your planet, in terms of consciousness. True consciousness is understanding what and where you are. Understanding that you are everything. That you are not your body. That your awareness is not coming from the brain. That you are eternal. There is no beginning and no end. That fear is resistance to the present moment. 

The Teacher Laughs for Love

 Jun 25, 2023

    My knees are the first thing to lose contact with God. They often have to sit up straight and get motivated before they can get out of bed. I’m just trynna figure out where to direct my attention. Should I be sitting on girls faces? I know they like that kind stuff. I feel like the past always had better things going on.

    So I walked into the front office and approached my teacher. He was standing by a mountain of dollar-bills.

    “Where’d you get all the money?” I asked.
My teacher whipped around like a frightened politician. He smacked his lips together and rubbed his forehead. He was sweating real bad. “Um- in my house! I got it from under my bed! This is cash that I earned!”

    “Oh ok,” I said. “Can I have a few dollars for lunch? I wanna pizza. It’s thirteen dollars.”
My teacher laughed and then fell to the floor. He couldn’t control himself. He was slapping the tiles. He had fat tears of ecstasy falling from his eye. 

    “Control yourself, Stanley!” I screamed.

    “OH MY GOD THAT BE SO FUNNY TO ME!” He howled. He ripped off his shirt to reveal a strong collection of muscles. Then he stood slowly. The wind was whipping his hair all over the place. 

    “Do I look good?” He whispered, a cheeky grin forming across his face.

    “You look like Prince Charming from Shreck 2!” I replied. “I’ve never seen such beautiful dominance!”

    My teacher laughed. He ruffled up my hair and stuck his finger in my ear. “Listen close. Go grab a pizza for us. We’ll share a moment of love!” 

    I put out my hands and caught the enormous amount of money I was been given. I walked to the front door and stepped outside. I sniffed the air. I was locating that fresh pizza. I caught a strong whiff of dough and walked in that direction. 

    I’m here in Melbourne still. 

    Yes you are. It’s good to hear from you. You should go for a walk and check out the sky today. See what you receive. Also make sure to know that you are over-loaded with strong energies, in a good way. It’s all pumping. It may make you feel out of it. Just be sure to breath and to stay hydrated and to stay in the present Monet. Lots of good things will come from this. You should always stay centred and grounded because this is how you connect to the earth. You are giving and receiving when you do this. It’s like breathing. You wouldn’t want to hold your breath for very long. That’s is what happens energetically when you don’t ground yourself and release. It all gets built up and and swirls around in your field. Keep staying present and releasing all the energy. Allow new energies to pour in and circulate, then release. It’s a good process and leads to a feeling of lightness. 
Anything else? 

    Your guides are watching you grow and become the man you are destined to be. Don’t worry too much about not being “famous” or a teenage heart throb. Follow your bliss and never worry about the outcome. Don’t make your creativity conditional. You just do what you want to do, what feels right, what feels fun, and then share it! It does’t need to a be a super organized system or collection of a certain style. Your creative and so there will never be ‘one way’ with you. It will always be changing. That is your super power and what people will like about you. We love you, we are so pleased to connect with you, your ET brothers and sisters want to meet you soon. Just keep grounding and intentionally connecting to the universe that you are.  

The Slum-Brothers

 June 23, 2023

    Here is the deal. I’m on my way to the top. I got my acceptance letter from the mayor. He wants me. He wants my presence. I’m gonna make it. I’m heading to the big city. I can see money and dollar signs. It’s gonna be a changing day in my life. The whole world knows it. I’m no longer afraid of the pain. I’m eternal. I'm a blown up sand castle. This is the day I’ve been waiting for..

    Now it the second day of eternity. It seems like everyone knows me. Everywhere I go I see eyes pointed my way. They’re into me. I try to shoo them away. They wanna hear some music. It’s all I’m good for. They say things like ‘Kai! Play us The Avocado Song!’.

I chuckle and slap them on the ass. Then I pick the hot girls and we go back to their house and fuck till the cows come home. It’s an honest life. It’s good for me.

    So then the water dried up and the clouds faded. I walked home. My head was hung like a lazy cock. I wandered through the streets 'til midnight. I wished I had a car. These legs weren’t made for walking. I came across a black cat. He was staring at me from atop a roof. 

    “How much further?” I asked.

    “You’re on the right path. Keep going like you know you were meant to,” whispered the feline friend. “It takes so long, but it’s all part of your spiritual evolution.”
    I nodded in respect. I kept walking. I lit a fat cuban cigar. I smoked that baby. The whole street was pitch black. My fat cigar was the only source of light. Big moths were attracted. They started buzzing around my head. I got annoyed and slapped a few. 

    I’m excited for New Zealand. I’m excited to have money. It’s still a long way off. Hopefully I can pay off my credit card and save lots of money before then. The country sounds expensive.

    You can believe whatever you want. You can show others the same. Just try to sense your body. Make these contacts more frequent. The state you’re in is very good for you and for those around you. We are always prodding and trying to be more a part of you. We can share your vessel. Its a very fun thing. It can be very nice because then you never feel alone. You are always aware of the light and of the sensation of old friends. It’s a beautiful thing.

Should I know anything? I know that the solstice is going on and there’s lots of energies right now.

      Yes there’s always lots of energies but at this time there is a very particular hight frequency. Stay hydrated, get fresh air, and do the things that bring you joy. Continue to sense your body and stay present and in a state of acceptance and gratitude. That’s really the most important couple of things. It can be quite easy actually. It just takes a bit of practise and then it’s your natural state. We’re all cheering you on. It’s happening at a fast pace now. The changes taking place are really obvious from where we are. You can also see changes in your outer reality, but your inner reality is where it’s most obvious. Do you feel different? Your confidence and the spiritual energies? Remember you are very loved by us and we really enjoy seeing you do the things you love. 

    This is such a great life time and it’s really exciting to see how you’re spending it. You are consciously living and moving through the earth at this time, which is an absolutely wonderful thing for us to witness. 

My Face Is Hurting

 June 10, 2023

    I’m so hurt and sick of the people here. I don’t want to be around these people. They’re so stupid. They’re just dumb. They don’t get anything. They’re so fucking arrogant. I don’t understand it. I hate them right now. 

    First it was from watching videos of ‘experts’ reacting to movie scenes. They’re giving their opinions on how realistic the scenes were. For the most part they were fine. But then there’d be some arrogant moron who’d kinda extend their area of expertise. The way Chris Hadfield did in when talking about the nature of the universe. One of the things that annoys me the most is when people who study outer space, or are astronauts, think that they’re somehow closer to dealing with the universe than everyone else. Like their opinions matter more than the rest of us. And that thinking is the biggest sign that they just don’t get it. The universe is everywhere and everything. A coal miner learning how to mine coal is dealing with the universe JUST as closely and intimately as an astronaut floating through space, or a scientist studying the orbit of planets. The universe, or reality, does not START anywhere. I don’t even believe that observing things through a microscope is anymore fundamental that understanding how to ride a bike. They’re both equally valid ways of understanding the universe. They’re so locked into their minds and their five senses. They have such a weirdly basic, linear, 3D concept of reality. They just don’t get consciousness. 

    And the reason these people are so arrogant is because we keep asking their opinions. It’s really media platforms fault. They keep allowing certain people to have the final say. 

    There’s a YouTube channel I love called Frankenstein’s Lab. I just saw that they’d posted a video of them reacting to ‘People Channeling Aliens’. And the guy on the thumbnail was Daniel Scranton. He’s someone who’s channels I listen to every single night before bed. Of course the video they watched was trying to disparage channellers. Try’s to make them look stupid. That really fucking hurt me. I’m sure that I would have laughed at it a couple of years ago, too. 

    But I didn’t stay fucking asleep. I started realizing how fucking obvious this whole ‘reality’ thing is. There’s so many thousands upon thousands of people who’ve had direct experience with E.T.’s. Why the fuck hasn’t everyone else realized this? Daryl Anka has gone through brain scans to show what his brain is doing when he channels. It’s doing weird and unexplained stuff! That doesn’t prove it’s aliens, but it’s a pretty good indicator that he’s not just closing his eyes and making shit up. You’d be able to see that on the scans! Why the fuck are these ‘scientists’ not realizing that? How stupid must you be? Why not do a little investigating? Because they’re morons. 

Blasted Like a Cannon

 June 4, 2023

    All the whispers added up make tons of ham. It’s the ringing of love. It’s the sound of desperate old age. I’m getting older. Fuck. The feeling of being a teenager is going away. I’m not a kid anymore. I don’t know if I’m ready. I feel like so much of the last few years was thrown away anyways. So much time being drunk and high. So much time being hungover. Why didn’t I get further? I feel like I’m supposed to be so much more. Did I make a mistake?

    No I don’t think you did. You are just being held down for reasons that you’l understand later. It’s all part of the process. Nothing to feel ashamed about. Just continue writing to us and being in the present moment. All your questions will be answered from that place.

    Dreams

    I was in the back seat of a car. Two people were in front driving me. There was lots of snow outside. It was a kinda magical feeling. It was a university town. The road took us by the university. The road actually cut right through the school. I could see all the teenagers starting their day. It was their first morning at uni. They were coming out of their dorms in their pyjamas. They were excited to see all the snow. 

    At one point the guy in the car asked me what I thought about gender pronouns. If I was annoyed by them. I asked him if he believed LGBTQ people were lying. I told him I believed many people who are annoyed by the new words seem to be using that as excuse for what they’re really bothered by. It seems to me they don’t believe a persons consciousness or soul can be totally different from their body. But they won’t say that, they’ll use the excuse of not wanting to have to use a new word. I guess they’re materialists. They don’t see any separation between the body and the awareness. You are the body, as far as they’re concerned. 

Limitless Nights

 May 14, 2023

    I want to talk to you. I want to feel you here. I’d love to know about your day and to ask you questions. Who is it that you want? You want some sort of hug. Or do you want to feel closer to knowing? How are you getting on? Are you smart? Are you talking to people who are understanding? How is this happening? Think about it for a second. Just close your eyes and let the wind roll in. Let the sun set and let the rivers flow. Let it all in and let it out. Think about the moon on the water. It’s bubbling now. All that pent up rage. It’s coming out in waves. It just wants to give. More and more and more. 

    Now think about death. The act of dying. It’s a Holy thing. It is meant to be cherished and worshipped. If you want to know about life you must embrace death. You must see it in every aspect of this universe. It’s not a mistake. It’s not the end. It’s not done. It’s part of a cycle that you can observe in every aspect of nature. In every aspect of reality. Coming and going. Rising and falling. Over and over again. It’s cyclical. 

An Honest Man's Dream

 May 12, 2023

    My dream is to sell the kids and get payed. I’d love to buy stocks in coal. I think there’s a lot of money to be made. I also think that people need to get in touch with their inner bitches. They need to talk to themselves a little more often. Maybe think about building walls between their eyes. That way they’re like hens. Just an idea.

    What if I was financially free? No more borrowing from family. No more lack. It would allow me time. That way I can grow in my music and art and hobbies. The money really just gives me time. I wouldn’t have to work a job that I don’t like. The goal is get payed doing something that I love but also teaches me things related to my interest. It’s always changing. These days I’d like to be payed to play music at bars, cafe’s, restaurants. I wanna just practise and practise and practise. Get better all the time. And be payed to do it. It seems like a magical life. For now. At some point it’ll change. It’s always changing. That’s the kinda life I want. Constantly changing, but always spiralling upwards. Constant evolution. 

    His hands are the size of diaries. I wanna talk to the aliens. To the beings around me. They are myself, after all. So I’m consciousness? Experiencing myself as a human? How many times have I done this? I guess if I’m everything and all time is now, then that question is a bit flawed? Because it would mean that if you zoom out far enough, I’m all the people on earth. I’m everything. But experiencing the illusion of feeling singular, or detached? It’s interesting. I’d love for more direct experiences. Although I have noticed that I’m so much more able to sense vibrations in my body. I can feel when it starts to resonate higher. I really feel it in the roots of my front teeth, which is so interesting. My hands as well. And it’s amazing when I can feel muscles suddenly decompress. It feels so good. It’s like they release all this tension and shake for a second, like a tiny earthquake. 

Young Friends

May 11, 2023

    Dreams 
  

      I was walking along. I saw Aksel, Owen and Nigel up ahead. They were running together towards a playground. As they pass by Aksel acknowledges me. I run with them. We run down a hill and arrive at the park. We get on this train. The train goes around in circles in the playground. There was lots of laughing. We’re our current age in the dream. 

One of Elon Musks rockets is taking off. It’s the largest rocket in the world. There’s one person inside. It’s just a test flight. The rocket takes off. It goes up and up, but not into space. The capsule with the pilot detaches and comes back down. It lands in the ocean. 

Ain't There More?

 April 10, 2023

    Life in one year. If I could do anything. 

    I would be performing music at shows. Not as on open-mic, but actually my own shows. I would be making music in a studio under some sort of contract. I’d be meeting and collaborating with really cool and creative people. I would feel free. Fulfilled. Excited. Grateful. I’d feel like I have a purpose and was making a contribution. 

    I would be doing something with my writing. I don’t really know what. I think a blog. That’s when it’s the funnest for me. 

    Basically I want to be doing what I’ve already been doing for years, but I just want to feel like people are interested and following along. 

    I think I’d like to continue the YouTube/travel/vlog type of videos. Also making my own music videos of course. 

    I’d like to be travelling the world, not having to worry about money. 

    I almost feel slightly weird writing these things, because at the end of the day what I really want is to feel fulfilled. And I don’t really know if I actually know what a fulfilled life will look like. I have ideas of what needs to happen for me to feel like I’m going somewhere. But I could end up being wrong. I think my biggest dream for life in a year would be to feel fulfilled. In terms of like a career. In general I feel fine. Like I’m a happy person. I’m just talking about what I’m doing with my life. The direction it’s going. How I’m spending my days. 

In Love

 April 6, 2023

    It’s all happening like a million miles an hour. Inside the vacuum there are layers of silt. You can often tear these apart and build great big beautiful girls. Good lord. It really is good for your soul.

    Have you ever seen the way the sky turns inside out? It’s a slow process. It happens one second at time. Don’t let it make you md. Just remember to breathe. Deep deep breaths. That’s all we can do these days. Something big is taking place, and all you need to do is let it happen naturally. 

    Ian is the coolest bricklayer. He was actually Brin without any dignity. God, am I in love again?

    There’s a cute girl over there and we looked at each other a couple times and now I’m completely in love. I’m losing my mind like some sorta freak. I don’t even care. But I do? I wanna cuddle.

    I should do stuff every day. I love it. Well that’s not always true. I feel high when I do it, when I’ve completed it. But sometimes it hurts when no one cares- AW SHUT UP!!!!!!!

    YOU'RE HERE ON EARTH AT THE COOLEST TIME!
You can be a part of it if you want. You just got be consistent! Are you consistently shit? Yay or nay? Be honest. 

Leaving Caloundra

 Apr 3, 2023

    I’m at the Brisbane Airport. My flight leaves in 3 and a half hours. I feel sorta stressed and hungry. I have a bit of a headache. 

    There’s so much potential. Everywhere. And yet I feel completely confused. I don’t know what direction to take. I’ll pick a path. I’ll walk down it for a little while. Then all the excitement and joy will fade. Then I do the next thing. I guess that’s fine. I just wish I could figure out how to make that sorta life work. This is the same kinda stuff I was talking about in the past.

    
I’m really happy to be leaving Caloundra. It felt weird living with Pablo and Yoga. Even today was weird. I woke up and Yoga was in the kitchen. I was on the patio. I was making weird noises, trying to get her attention. She completely ignored me. It was weird, like she was trying super hard to ignore me. I went for a run and came back. I walked in and she wouldn’t look at me. I said hi and asked how she was, and she was like ‘good’. I figured I must’ve made another mistake somehow. The weirdest part was this. I grabbed my clean laundry from outside and headed back to my room. On the way I passed the driveway and saw that she was in the car pulling out of the driveway! She knew I was leaving and she didn’t seem to care at all! She hadn’t said bye or anything! She was just gonna leave without saying anything. 

    So I waved and said bye. She was like ‘oh yah bye. I’ll be back later, I might see you’. I thought that was so weird. 

    Pablo was way different. He gave me like three hugs. He told me he loved me, he kept wishing me good luck and all that. He even gave me $50!

    So yah I left at around noon. I didn’t get a proper good-bye with Yoga. It just feels so petty. Maybe she’s going through something really hard. I don’t know. I’m sure I did something. That’s how it’s been. I found out through my mom that they were complaining about certain things I was doing. But they wouldn’t tell me. They’d just keep their mouths shut and then act weird around me. I’m just so happy to be getting out of that house. Weird things like that were just constantly happening. It was fucking with my head. 

    I was gonna leave early and take the train to Brisbane. Pablo told me about a shuttle service that would take me from Caloundra to the airport. I figured I’d do that. So I took my time getting ready. When it was time to leave I went to book my seat. I found out that it’s the kinda thing you’re supposed to book ahead of time, like a couple days. So I figured I’d take an uber to the train station. But that’s when I found out my credit card was fucked. I can’t make online payments with it. Every time I try it wants to send a verification code to my old cell-phone number. I’ve gone into the TD website and changed the phone number for verification codes. But it didn’t do shit. Every website, including the Government of Canada, keeps sending it to my old phone. It’s fucking stupid. It really is. There’s certain things about this society that are absolute pathetic. These organizations seem to get dumber and more sluggish the bigger they get. 
It’s also my fault. I knew that I should’ve called TD. I tried a couple days ago. It always says I’ve entered the wrong number. I’ve tried using the number it says to use when calling from Australia. It doesn’t make a fucking difference. It’s fucking stupid. I think from now on I’m gonna have a PayPal account? That might be easier for traveling. 

    It just feels like nothings really been going anywhere for so long. Like years. I just wish I had some stability. I wish I had some sorta life that I really felt good about. It just feels like everything’s always a mess and nothing fits. 

Pooches

 Apr 1, 2023

    Where’d you go, Dad? He’s gone now. He disappeared so fast.

    I was sure of something, long ago. Now I’m not so sure. 

    What should I do today?

    You could make a video. You could record your vocals for some songs. You could practise presence.    You could plan your journey to the airport. You could do it all. 

    These dogs are so crazy. So hyper. What a funny couple of pooches. 

The Truth Is Vibrating

  Mar 30, 2023

The funniest think happened. I was floating through the trees. A powerful burst of energy shot up from the ground. The clouds became illuminated. The whole town became bright. I was everywhere. I was trying to understand where everything started.

What is that nothingness? It’s from there that it all begins. It’s like the ocean. And it’s like everything that exists keeps washing up on the shore. Just washing out of that nothingness. I am not sure how to enter it. It’s like I only exist after? What is it?

    What’s through it?

    I’m so interested in having a relationship with all the non-physical beings. I wanna know you guys so bad. I wanna learn and have guidance and even share my experiences with you. I wanna know who’s here! And how I know you. Where am I from? Who am I? How do we all know each other? I want to erode this doubt. I feel like there’s still so much of me that doesn’t believe. I guess it’s because I haven’t had enough visceral first hand experiences. Pretty much everything that I know comes from listening to other people. And that’s not really knowing. I am keen on direct experiences.

    Please come though me know. Say what you need to, whoever is there.

    Have you ever thought to look inside? Try it. See what you find in there. The reason you’re alone is because you’re living on the surface. Try exploring inside. Actually go within and see what’s there. Don’t always look outside for us. See your body like the earth, or like a great big ball of energy, and within it there is life. Try seeing it that way. Look inside the ball as opposed to looking out into space. 

    Feel us energetically. Over time you will be able to distinguish us based on our frequency. For now just feel whatever it is you feel. There is so much inside you. Spoiler alert- it’s all of creation! 

    I love you. You will find your truth. But remember that all that you’re looking for at this time is within you. INSIDE! Remember that. Now go meditate some more.

A Magical Meeting

 Mar 29, 2023

    A dream from last night. 

    I’m outside with a couple of other people. I notice UFO’s floating through the sky. I get super excited and run over to watch them fly away. I know right away that they’re man-made UFO’s. You can easily see the rivets and seams. They look clunky. As I’m watching them I notice some more UFO’s under the canopy of a tree. I get super excited because I know those aren’t from earth. They look much more beautiful. They have orbs of lights attached to their craft. But the crafts are super small! Like the size of a drone. 

    They start coming down to the ground. I tell all the people I’m with to sit down on the grass. I’ve rehearsed this experience so many times in my head. I always planned that if I had an encounter I would sit down cross legged in the position that I meditate. I don’t remember what happened next. The next thing I remember is that we’re talking with a group of beings. They’re the same size as us, but for some reason I feel like I’m looking up at them. It’s weird, because their ships are still tiny. I don’t know how they fit inside. 

    
I’m surprised because they look like Indigenous people. The man who’s talking to us has white paint on his body. I think their faces looked slightly different than ours. 
   

    They asked which one of us should be the one to take part in something. I can’t remember what that something was. I suggested one of  my friends, out of respect, but he said no, that it should be me. And so then I remember they were gifting me this orange ball. It looked like it was made of glass, but I think it was naturally forming. It was about the size of a soccer ball. They were really emphasizing the fact that there were these horizontals bumps on it. They said this represented how old it was. They said vertical bumps are more common, but this one was ancient.  

A Shishka In The Woods

  Mar 28, 2023

    I was sitting in a tunnel. I was observing the green grass. It was blowing like summer. What a sight. The blue sky was amazing. It really shone on everything. I was amazed. I walked back towards the forest. I saw that animals were waiting for me. They’d written the word ‘Help’ using sticks and branches. I looked at them. They were smiling. A few looked worried. I suddenly had the feeling that I should follow them. 

    We wandered into the woods. We walked for hours. It was getting dark. They took me deeper and deeper. We arrived outside a wooden house. There was smoke coming from the top of a chimney. The animals were pressing themselves against the back of my legs. They wanted me to continue. I walked to the door. I knocked three times.

    “Hello?” Said a voice from inside. “Who’s there?”

    I wasn’t sure how to respond. “I’m here because someone said you might need help- is everything ok?”

    I heard shuffling from inside. The heavy lock was removed and the door opened. There was a beautiful blonde woman. I couldn’t tell if she was very old or about twenty. It was  strange. We looked at each other for a moment. I felt a deep sadness. I wanted to reach out to her and hold her. I actually struggled to resist the sudden urge. 

    “Who sent you?” She asked. 

    “Someone in the woods,” I responded. “They said they’d heard someone crying.”

    The woman looked down. She looked stern for a moment. “Well it wasn’t me.” 

    I just stood there. I really didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know why I was there. I thought that maybe I should leave. Part of me hoped the conversation wouldn’t end. I really felt sad. 

    “What’s your name?” She asked. 

    “Kai,” I answered. 

    “I’m Claire. I gotta get back to cooking. I’m in the middle of making dinner.”

    “No worries, I understand,” I replied, nodding my head and turning around. I was slightly relieved that she’d made a decision.

    “But come back in the morning,” she said as I descended the steps. “There’s something I wanna show you inside the mountain. I’ve wanted to show somebody for so long.” 

    “What is it?” I asked. 

    “It’s hard to explain. Just come back and I’ll show you.”

    I walked back the way I came. The forest was pitch black. I could see the whole universe above the trees. I found some of the animals again. They had a look of pure delight. I kinda nodded at them, smiling slightly. I was feeling funny. I was excited for tomorrow. I didn’t know what to expect anymore. 

My Only Request

  Mar 22, 2023

    He was sitting at a round wooden table. All the beings were sat with him. They were still for some time. They observed the sensation of being. It was different for everyone. 
Someone finally raised their finger. It was time to start. A glowing disco ball descended from the ceiling. Everyone ripped off their robes and threw them away. It was getting steamy. They all poured themselves vodka and grinded their bodies against one another. They partied till the sun came up.

    What a bizarre life. I thought that I’m supposed to have a little more fun. How about some help? At least make me able to tune-in a bit more easily. 

    Aren’t I supposed to have Monday’s off? I thought that’s when I'm supposed to go to the river and fuck all the ducks. I thought that my ass was supposed to fall of. Didn’t I hear a promise being made? When do I get to leave my body. I just wanna leave for like a day. I just want a little break. I wanna come right back, that’s for sure. I know it’s a real honour to be here right now. But I would love to just know that everything will work out. I would love to just float up and be inside the sun for a little while. Couldn’t we arrange that? 

Me Wanna Help

  Mar 21, 2023

    Here is the truth. I’m a being of pure love. I’m a facet of the universe. I’m conscious. What a privilege. Im here to observe myself as love. Love in the face of hardship. Love in the face of darkness. It’s all a wild ride, that’s for sure. But I signed up for this. Maybe I’ve even done it before. I agreed to be here. Not only that, but I’m here at such a pivotal time in history. And not only that, but I’m here with the good fortune of having some musical abilities. I have some talents that I should be proud of. I am proud. I’m grateful. I want to have lived a good life. I want to make my 17 year old self proud. I wanna do great things. I wanna make really cool stuff while I’m here. I really really wanna help with this transition that the earth is going through. 

Time To Leave

  March 20, 2023

    I’m a lonely little monk. Im being thrown out like a rag doll. I was asked to get my things sorted out.

    I had a long chat with Yoga today. We figured the best thing would be for me to find somewhere else to stay. I think it’ll actually be really good. It’s what I wanted anyways, I just didn’t know how to do it. Now I gotta figure it out because I have no choice. I’m gonna apply to places in Melbourne and find a place there. It feels like the universe has been pulling me to Melbourne ever since I landed in Australia anyways. 

    Who knows what might happen. It’s gonna be good.

    Today is day-2 of no drinking. It’s a relief so far. I’m optimistic. I have to be honest with myself and put in the effort to making a difference. It’s about doing the things I don’t always wanna do.

    I’m good at working on my hobbies and passions. I’m not always so good at sitting down and doing the boring stuff. I’d like to take that stuff a bit more seriously. 

A Shiny Memory

  Mar 19, 2023

    I’m alone in a room with seven beings. They comfort be and tell me that everything will be just fine. Just be patient and receive. Stay in a place of positive vibration. Everything is taken care of. Everyone is waiting for me to arrive. It’s gonna be alright.

    How about some chicken. How about a taste? I don’t think I really need it to be honest. It’s quite shocking. I mean, the flavour is nowhere to be seen. What happened? My God. What a joke.

    The waiter was blown away. She took one sip and then vomited. She was being punished for bad breath. Now she’d know real pain. It was her time to shine. She fell to the floor and curled up like a sandwich. She was just down there, doing whatever. I don’t even wanna get into it.