May 20, 2024
I was just going through my hours with Jayne and Mark. I noticed that I hadn’t been paid for four days. I’ve started working with them on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, in addition to Saturdays and Sundays. None of the new days have been submitted.
From now on I need to start recording my times as soon as I leave their place. They’re obviously not doing it on purpose. I guess they’re just forgetting. I’ll tell Jayne tomorrow.
I almost bought a bunch of beer and cigarettes last night. It was already 9:30 pm. I had even placed the beer into my shopping basket but then changed my mind.
I probably would’ve done it if there was a good bar to head over to later in the night. Christchurch is a pretty dull place in the evenings, in terms of night life.
I’m glad I didn’t drink, obviously. I wouldn’t have done anything today.
I talked to mom today. We got my ticket to Australia. I’m leaving here on June 29th. I’m excited but also nervous. I felt like she was being weird on the phone. She sounded anxious about me being difficult. It was just like the vibe I got from when I was living with Pablo and Yoga.
I’m not even there and she’s already stressed out about whether I’m going to complain about being bored. I don’t understand what she’s talking about. I realized that she didn’t seem to understand why living in Caloundra had turned bad.
It wasn’t because I was bored. It was because I found out that Yoga and Pablo weren’t happy with how I was spending my days. They didn’t like having me hang around the house working on music and making videos. I was bored with the town, but I was still constantly working on stuff.
And so mom is stressed out that I’ll get there for my visit and be bored. But that wasn’t the original problem. The original problem was exactly what she was doing on the phone. It’s other people assuming that I’m bored or not having a good time. That’s what it felt like Yoga was doing with me.
I kind of remembered that mom doesn’t really know a large part of me. She’s never lived with me for more than a couple weeks since I was eleven. She knows aspects of me.
I often feel that the only person who actually knows me is Carter, because he was living with me for about 3 and a half years. He knows what I do when I’m at home. He knows my hobbies and habits.
I often get the sense that most people think I’m very different in terms of what I do with my free time.
I feel like Yoga and Pablo started to experience the real me but didn’t like it. I don’t really blame them. I can understand why some people might find it hard to live with me.
I think they thought that I was bored. That’s not what I was feeling.
I just like to make things. It’s just a habit at this point. I feel like I’ve been existing this was since I was about 17.
I went to Sumner today. It’s a small beach town by the ocean. It’s really nice. It’s right next to the port hills. I went because the library had Carl Jung’s autobiography.
I also brought my camera and tripod. I ended up spending a lot of time shooting videos. I love that camera.