Eleven Eleven

  May 8, 2024


The hike to the top of hill took seven days. We were soaking wet and covered in mud by the time we reached the summit. I can still remember my dad asking me to find some water. 
I ran east and found a shop. It was perched on the edge of a cliff and overlooked a stormy sea. 
Inside I found a Yogi behind the counter. I handed him some coins and begged for water. He disappeared behind some curtains. 


The sun was setting when the wise Yogi returned. He had a flask of proper water in his hand. I thanked him for his service. Then I begged to know the truth. He told me to just ask for my son next time. 
“I don’t understand,” I stammered.
“The way to the light is in your little child,” laughed the Yogi.
 

I thought long and hard about the Yogi’s words. I wondered who might be able to decipher his riddle. I thought about asking Hillary Clinton. 
I found that civil servant in her kitchen. She was baking a cake for her husband. 
“What’s the occasion?” I asked.
Hillary jumped in surprise. Her head went through the ceiling and sent dry wall raining down. I grabbed her ankles and yanked. She landed gently and with dignity. 
“You land like a cat,” I observed. 
“Thank you, soldier!” Said Hillary. “As for your question; I’m baking a cake for my handsome hubbies birthday.”
“Wonderful,” I whispered. “May I join in the festivities?”
“It can be arranged!” Laughed Hillary. “What will you get him? For his birthday, that is.”
I looked down at the floor and thought for a moment. “Perhaps some peppers?” 
Hillary opened her eyes wide and shaped her mouth like a small circle. Her eyebrows shot upwards and her ears extended outwards. “Ooh wow! That will bring him down to earth. He may even shed a tear, HAHAHAHA!” 
“Well I was thinking about sweet peppers,” I clarified. “Not necessarily those spicy buggers.”
“Get him the spicy ones!” Laughed Hillary. “It will be good for him!”


I left the house and walked through the park. I watched the sun settle behind the trees. I noticed young lovers fucking in the brush. I pretended that I hadn’t noticed them. I think the woman saw me looking.
 

I found myself in an old timey market. There were hundreds of vendors and thousands of buyers. I pushed my way through crowds of confused and hungry citizens. I hated the noise.
It was past midnight by the time I arrived. Old farmer Stan was just about closed. He was wiping down his counter with a soapy rag. His stall smelled of manure and fresh soil.
“You still open there, Stan?” 
Stan bounced upwards in surprise. He flailed his limbs as he ascended up into the air. The man squealed and twisted. He came crashing down onto a pile of pumpkins. 
“Sorry about that, Stan!” I shouted. “Didn’t mean to send ye sailing into the heavens!”
Stan laughed as he wiped himself off. “It’s quite alright, mate. It’s good to be occasionally frightened, I reckon! Gives the heart something to do!”
“AHAHAHAHAHAHH!” I screamed hysterically. “That’s the kind of attitude that brings money and abundance!” I observed.
“What can I do for you?” Chuckled Stan. “I’m just about closed.”
“Say, you got any of them spicy peppers, Stan?” 
“Oh yes, I’ve got heaps.”
“Give us a handful. Enough to send a grown man crying!”


I made my purchase. I headed back towards the Clinton’s estate. I bought a birthday card and a birthday hat along the way.