Christ Cookies

     May 12, 2024 

The light was in the chest of man. It gave us breath and lent a hand.
I was gifted seventeen tons of animal hide. I used it to bury my son's arrogant wife. She screamed from beneath the floor.

Tony was born for trouble. He’d been beaten as a small child. This had left him feeling terribly insecure. He had sought a cure. Nothing worked. 
Tony decided to heal himself through corn. He became a corn farmer! He grew whole fields of the wonderful health food. He become know was Corn Christ. The children praised him and vomited in sacrificial rituals. 

I went with Jayne to church. It was a nice evening. I don’t really enjoy the services. I still enjoy going. It’s nice to have coffee and cookies. 
I find their style really bland. I feel no spiritual connection when I’m there. I feel wayyy more connected to spirit when I’m at AA.

The music at this church also feels sooo boring and bland. Just really boring chords and melodies. I really want to go to a gospel church. Those look so much more exciting. 
I agree with a lot of the stuff that they said at church, but not everything. I don’t feel that everyone in the world must convert to their church or religion. Every religion seems to say that. Everyone should be encouraged to find a spiritual path that works for them. 

Ben banged his dick against the glass cabinet. His mother woke up. She came storming down the stairs. She found her boy licking the floor. She grabbed his ass and threw him out of the house.
Ben landed on the front lawn. He was humiliated. He stood and wiped his cheeks, as well as his ass cheeks.

“Where shall I sleepeth?” Wondered Ben. “From which direction shall I find safety?”
Ben wandered late into the night. He strolled empty highways. He passed through the parking lots of strip malls. He arrived at the ocean. He was at the end of the world.

“Take me Lord,” whispered Ben. “I beg of thee. I am thy shepherd that ye speaketh of.”
Ben’s cock began to vibrate with tremendous force. His feet lifted from the sand. A brilliant purple light engulfed Ben’s hard cock.
“Taketh me to thy lap,” wept Ben as he was blasted into eternity.

The lone Texan found himself in a dark hole. He scratched at the rocks. Then he thought about sleeping.
The Texan awoke to the smell of bacon. He stood up and rubbed his eyes. 
“How’d you sleep?” 
“Who ye be?” Asked the Texan.
I’m from your basement,” laughed a potbellied policeman. “How about some breakfast?”
“That sounds alright,” said the Texan. 

“How’d you sleep?” Repeated the cop. “How many times must a man ask?”
“That’s a sacred topic,” whispered the Texan. “It’s out of your jurisdiction.
“No no no,” spat the police man as he waved his fat finger like a preacher. “This be my grand papee’s ol’ stompin’ ground. You by in my hood now, bruv!”
The Texan suddenly felt unwelcome. He turned around and wandered into the desert.

Solar Storm

    May 11, 2024

    My feet are nearly numb. It’s freezing in this house. There’s no heating and it’s 2 degrees celsius outside. I can’t wait for warmer weather. It’s not too far off.
I hung out with Jayne and Mark today. We went out and did errands. I also bought new shoes. I was with them for 6 hours. 
    Mom is in Jasper with Liam. I saw a photo. I wish I could be there with them.

    I’ve been listening to an audio book of the Emerald Tablets. It’s blowing my mind. It’s just like the book Initiation I read in January. 

    I’m ready for sleep. I hope that they don’t ask me to come into work tomorrow. I want a day off! I feel like I’ve been so busy. That’s a good thing. I just want a day to finish that book. I’m also gonna call dad tomorrow. 

    My roommates have been closing the doors really gently during the night. I’m been amazed. I didn’t even wake up when Leila went to work on Friday. I’m grateful for that. 

    There’s a fire burning inside of me. Thoth says that my body is a planet, and that I am the star at the centre. I am the light that everything else orbits. It’s amazing.
    He built it all. I want to keep exploring that world. I’m fascinated by the ancients. I’m also interested in knowing what’s inside of me. I want to travel the universe and explore. I want to know the truth of myself.    I know that it’s beyond anything that I can imagine.

    The power was given to the children of men. They descended into darkness and raised their level of vibration over thousands of years. It took time.

    I was out shopping with a basket full of cash. I could buy anything I wanted. I had enormous spending power. I went to the counter and spoke to the girl. I asked her for cigarettes. She gave them to me. She asked if she could have one.
    “Sure,” I replied, removing the plastic wrap. I handed her a little cigarette and lit the dart for her. “How’s that?” 
    “It reminds me of my dad,” she responded, a thick cloud of smoke surrounding her face. I could no longer see her. She was hidden by a thick wall of white cloud. Lightning erupted around her ears. Rain fell onto her chest. 

    I was walking home through the snow. My socks were wet. The lights from the cafe’s was orange. The water rippled and reflected the city lights. I could smell bread. I saw chimney smoke blowing through the wind. 
    I arrived at my apartment. I kicked my boots against the wall before going inside. 
    The elevator ride was quick. I entered my apartment and turned on the kitchen lights. My friend’s dog was sleeping on the couch. He raised his head as I took off my coat. I sat on the couch for a minute and scratched his back. 
    I went to the bathroom and took a warm shower before bed. 

    The dreams I had scared me. I thought I was in Ramsay’s kitchen. I was being screamed at. I was being chased by that British man. He threatened to flatten me with his rolling pin. 
    I escaped onto a ledge. I was 50 stories in the air. I could barely hear the city below. The wind roared through my hair.
    Gordon jumped out onto the ledge. He slowly moved towards me, like a jungle cat. 

Thoth

  May 10, 2024 

    I was brought to earth in a vessel. I was seated before the hallway. Five thousand emerald suns shone bright. They cast the Men of Time against the colour purple. 
    I sat and observed the sunrise. I was struck by the contrast of energy. It was so blatant. So unavoidable. So obvious.

    I threw apart the fire and dove head first into the abyss. I came across the liars. They had built a city on a hill. They had raised their flag against a backdrop of trumpets. They sat in wooden chairs. They lied through their teeth. I knew what they wanted. They didn’t try to hide it. That was the point, I learnt. It was to convince the Sons of Man to crave the dark. That way the liars were envied, for they’d already achieved the dark. 

    I was at work all day today. It’s 9:30 pm. I’m gonna write this, make some AI photos, make a song, and then a video!! So much fucking shite to do. Oh, I also have to post the last video to YouTube and Facebook.

    I really can’t believe how much power the evil has. We live in a time where assholes are desperate for more power. They’re maniacs. I always thought these people were few and far between. But they’re running the show. They’re the real ones in control. I’m scared I’m becoming cynical.

    I want to read a book about the Beatles next. I’m currently reading Chaos. It’s about CIA stuff. It’s amazing, but sorta depressing in a way. You start to realize how much power the people in the shadows have. And how insane they are. They just lie and fool entire civilizations.

    The taco builder was believed by his sons for killing their mother. I tried to tell them the truth, but they didn’t wanna listen. They stood firm in their beliefs. 
    I took them to the river and forced them to look. They were interested for about half a minute. They quickly went back to their programming. I stood there in anger. 

    The wind slapped my chest and pushed me into a cave. I was alone. I sat for a while, thinking about suicide. I didn’t know what the point of living was. I wasn’t depressed. I wasn’t craving death. I just didn’t understand who I was or how I’d gotten there. It all seemed unbelievably pointless and random. Why was there any reality? Why did anything exist? I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. Being dead seemed completely reasonable.

 
    I sat in the cave for a long time. I think years must’ve passed. I think I must’ve died. All I could see was a light around the corner. Around some rocks. I tried moving towards it. I could never remember what happened when I turned the corner. I kept beginning again. Over and over, for all eternity it seemed! I know that I kept reaching the light, but I could never remember, no matter how hard I tried.

    A war raged outside. I hid beneath the bed. I knew that soldiers were passing by. They were looking for me. I knew that they would kill me if they found me. I moved further into the darkness beneath my bed. I held my breath as the boots marched past. I could hear them humming a song. 
    I was outside. I was in a ravine. Their was a bridge above me. I was running and running. I seemed to be going in circles. No where seemed safe. I just kept moving. 
    I turned a corner and found a point of infinite energy. It had been waiting for me. It laughed and starred at me with piercing sharp eyes. It smiled and grinned. I knew that I would die. There was no escape. I was close to it. It was like a black hole. 
I surrender and let myself fall.

Someone To See

 May 9, 2024

    It’s the third day of a daily practise. I’m making a song and video every day. I’m also writing a page of words. I don’t know how long I’m doing it for. I’m thinking to aim for the rest of my time in NZ, however long that ends up being. 

    The only thing I like about this place is working with Jayne and Mark. It might be my favourite job I’ve ever had. I’m seeing so much of Christchurch, and being paid to explore. I’m also trying all sorts of restaurants. 

    I ate a piece of meat that was on top of a lid at work. Maria told me to quit snacking and to pick up the tongs she dropped. I was so fucking annoyed. People are constantly picking pieces of meat out of the containers with their fingers. I never do that. I just have tiny little pieces that are lying around. Why am I being singled out for eating? 
    Her and George really filled the ‘annoying void’ that Dimitri has left. That place is probably my least favourite job I’ve ever had.

This past year and a half has been a constant experience of stark contrasts. Extreme highs and extreme lows. 

    I wandered through the dessert until I found an army base. Elon Musk was inside. They’d captured him. He was behind bars. I approached his cage. 
“Can you let me out?” Asked Elon.
“Who put you here?” I asked. I wanted to know who’s turf I was in before I made promises. 
“The Lion King,” whispered Elon. “It’s a dark day for those with agreeable personalities.”
“Uh oh,” I said, my eyebrows shooting upwards. “That’s me!”
I heard a bang from behind. I wheeled around like a frightened deer. 

    The sun shone through the skylight. I was made to believe in angels. I was asked to provide spiritual healthcare to the people of the earth. I believed I could o it. 
I found some friends and we set up a tent in the woods. We had to cut down trees so that we could make canoes for our society. We traded with the elf people. They were friendly, but they always seemed suspicious of us. I always wondered if they’d dealt with bad humans before us.

    I had been down to the shoe store this morning. I found a pair of Nike Slippers. I tried them on. They looked quite nice on my feet! I felt kinda hot. 
A cute woman saw me strutting down an aisle. She approached me and tried to hump my leg. She was like a rabid dog.

    Tomorrow I may have to work all day long. I’m not that excited. I’ve got 5 more full weeks of working there. I think I’ll finish just as Dimitri gets back. I don’t wanna work with him again. I really want to go to Australia with mom. I can work for Jayne and Mark for a little while I guess. I won’t make as much money with one job, but I should have paid for my plane ticket by then.

Eleven Eleven

  May 8, 2024

The hike to the top of hill took seven days. We were soaking wet and covered in mud by the time we reached the summit. I can still remember my dad asking me to find some water. 
I ran east and found a shop. It was perched on the edge of a cliff and overlooked a stormy sea. 
Inside I found a Yogi behind the counter. I handed him some coins and begged for water. He disappeared behind some curtains. 

The sun was setting when the wise Yogi returned. He had a flask of proper water in his hand. I thanked him for his service. Then I begged to know the truth. He told me to just ask for my son next time. 
“I don’t understand,” I stammered.
“The way to the light is in your little child,” laughed the Yogi.

 

I thought long and hard about the Yogi’s words. I wondered who might be able to decipher his riddle. I thought about asking Hillary Clinton. 
I found that civil servant in her kitchen. She was baking a cake for her husband. 
“What’s the occasion?” I asked.
Hillary jumped in surprise. Her head went through the ceiling and sent dry wall raining down. I grabbed her ankles and yanked. She landed gently and with dignity. 
“You land like a cat,” I observed. 
“Thank you, soldier!” Said Hillary. “As for your question; I’m baking a cake for my handsome hubbies birthday.”
“Wonderful,” I whispered. “May I join in the festivities?”
“It can be arranged!” Laughed Hillary. “What will you get him? For his birthday, that is.”
I looked down at the floor and thought for a moment. “Perhaps some peppers?” 
Hillary opened her eyes wide and shaped her mouth like a small circle. Her eyebrows shot upwards and her ears extended outwards. “Ooh wow! That will bring him down to earth. He may even shed a tear, HAHAHAHA!” 
“Well I was thinking about sweet peppers,” I clarified. “Not necessarily those spicy buggers.”
“Get him the spicy ones!” Laughed Hillary. “It will be good for him!”

I left the house and walked through the park. I watched the sun settle behind the trees. I noticed young lovers fucking in the brush. I pretended that I hadn’t noticed them. I think the woman saw me looking.

 

I found myself in an old timey market. There were hundreds of vendors and thousands of buyers. I pushed my way through crowds of confused and hungry citizens. I hated the noise.
It was past midnight by the time I arrived. Old farmer Stan was just about closed. He was wiping down his counter with a soapy rag. His stall smelled of manure and fresh soil.
“You still open there, Stan?” 
Stan bounced upwards in surprise. He flailed his limbs as he ascended up into the air. The man squealed and twisted. He came crashing down onto a pile of pumpkins. 
“Sorry about that, Stan!” I shouted. “Didn’t mean to send ye sailing into the heavens!”
Stan laughed as he wiped himself off. “It’s quite alright, mate. It’s good to be occasionally frightened, I reckon! Gives the heart something to do!”
“AHAHAHAHAHAHH!” I screamed hysterically. “That’s the kind of attitude that brings money and abundance!” I observed.
“What can I do for you?” Chuckled Stan. “I’m just about closed.”
“Say, you got any of them spicy peppers, Stan?” 
“Oh yes, I’ve got heaps.”
“Give us a handful. Enough to send a grown man crying!”

I made my purchase. I headed back towards the Clinton’s estate. I bought a birthday card and a birthday hat along the way. 

Worship Warriors

  May 7 2024

The parker’s lived opposite a green cube. No one in the world knew what it was. 

I believe in things that aren’t popular. For this reason I chose to remove my clothes. I tried to hump a sign post. I was arrested and sent to the gallows. 

I sit on my bench, writing this note. In two days I will be hung. I deserve what’s coming to me. I never treated my fellow man with dignity. Now I’m facing the consequences. I have no complaints. No regrets.

I yawned for years. My whole life was a never ending ritual of stomach contractions as I sucked oxygen into my Canadian frame. 

The lies told by the men makes me sad. I just sit there in awe and disbelief. I often wonder who really owns the world. Is it something so beyond comprehension? Some sort of energy that exists in and around me? A force that I can’t immediately notice? Am I really in control? Or is someone playing me like a game? 

“Have you had your peas?” Asked mother.
Father sank to the floor and curled up into a ball. He fantasized about getting into bed with a beautiful girl and fucking her late into the night. 

“Why don’t you eat your vegetable?” Continued mother. “Your bones cannot be replaced. Eat what your son and I have cooked.”

Father kicked and screamed on the floor.  A wave of sweat began to stink up the dining room. “I can replace my bones by the power of God,” Whispered the father. “He has given us tools for change. A powerful omen was spotted in the woods when I was 14. I have never spoken about this publicly.”

Mother began to gaze. She began to feel sorry for herself. Why hadn’t she married the handsome boy from her youth? He was so creative and gentle. He only fucked her on weekends. 

“Take me to the gates and surrender before St. José!” Screamed the Father. 

The child was used to this. He had grown up between two out of control Nazi’s. He was sure of his future. It wasn’t good. It was a life of pain and hard work in the factories. He had been raised to produce steel. He was the owner of bruised and battered hands. He was ready for death, even at the tender age of 11.

“Have I satisfied our Lord?” Asked the Child.

“God works for us and serves his children. He always has our best interest,” replied the Mother with a look of psychedelic devotion.

Father began to spasm and to cough up decades of childhood trauma. He shook and made the room tremble in despair. Mother shook her head disapprovingly.

    A blank slate. I must begin now. It is my duty. It is what I came here to do. To be creative. To be consistent. To be true. To be real. To release. To reveal truth. I’m tired, but I have a duty. I don’t always like it here, but I must create. 

The city was busy at 5 pm. The cars raced home like bugs. The sun cast such a powerful orange glow against the granite walls. The shadowy alleyways began to fill with spiritual seekers. They had sexual cravings oozing from their solar plexus. 

This lifetime was a meditation in free will. Two paths lay ahead. The choice was entirely their own. 

Above the clouds and beneath the planes. A section of sky known as Hillbilly Highway. 

The Beings from within the earth parked themselves here and began to observe. They took notice of the way the roads wiggled out from the centre of London. 

I had heard God last night. I can’t remember what he said. I was in a panic. It’s a miracle I didn’t piss against a wall. It wouldn’t be the first time.