Feb 18, 2024
There was a big fire the other day. I walked out of work and saw a huge cloud of smoke. I thought it was from building in the city. It turned out to be the hill. It was much smaller by the evening.
I was burnt for being broken.
I’m going to drop off my resume at the little theatre again today. I really don’t want to work at the Greek place.
Yesterday was the year anniversary of when I started drinking again. I’m so grateful I’m sober. It’s been about three months.
I’m in a similar place to where I was a year ago. I feel similar. It’s just this feeling of being a bit lost and dissatisfied. Last time I added beer to the mix. That was the worst decision I could ever have made.
I just wish I had a better job. I wish I was making more money. I have so much debt it’s ridiculous. This debt really began a year ago when I started drinking.
It’s going to take me years to pay off my debt if I’m working minimum wage. I just don’t know what to do.
Dreams
I was at the doctors. I was about to receive a vaccine. Dad offered to inject it himself. He did a good job, I barely felt a thing.
There was another woman there. She started yelling about her dislike of vaccines. This got dad really mad. He started yelling back. The woman’s daughter also started yelling at her mom.
The woman slowly stood and walked to front of the room while everyone continued to shout at her. She started peeing against the wall. It was a massive amount of pee. It was splashing off the walls and hitting me. She turned towards me and started spraying pee at me. I started running away. I couldn’t move very quickly. It was a horrible feeling. It felt absolutely disgusted. She followed me down a hallway. I finally made it to a bathroom. I got into a stall and took all my clothes off. I tried washing myself with tap water.
I was in the basement at El Pueblo. Dad came in the room. He was selling the place. He said that a potential buyer had arrived at the front door.