Oct 30, 2023
I’m still at the house in Preston! I’m also still sober!
So I booked like two and a half weeks at the hostel downtown. It was a bit of a nightmare. My move in date was for last Friday. I was gonna head there after Jim’s Mowing.
I got home and started packing. I also had to do laundry and chores. It was taking a while. I realized I wouldn’t be done in time.
I decided to just take my suitcase and guitar and leave them at the hostel, then come back home and finish the rest of the stuff. I figure I’d move in the next day.
I was so close to drinking that day. It was when Corey asked if I wanted to split a joint. I said no thanks.
Then I thought that if I was drunk, I’d definitely like to smoke weed. I started wondering if I should drink. I thought to myself that it would be the final time we would hang out at the front, drinking and smoking.
I literally got my bag and ID and left the house. I really didn’t want to drink, but I also did. I went for a walk first. Eventually I decided not to drink. I went back home and kept packing. I was so close.
So I took my suitcase and guitar to the hostel downtown. Then I came back home.
The next day I worked at Handlebars. After my shift I went to the hostel. I intended to stay the night.
I knew I still had to go back to the house in the morning. I still needed to sell the amps. Thank god for that. Thank god I didn’t text Carly to tell her that I'd moved out. I got into hostel bunk bed and immediately wished I was back home.
The guy below me had his light on for a while. I finally fell asleep. Then one of the guys opened the door and slammed it shut. I woke up.
Then the guy below me started to snore. I couldn’t believe it. I lay there for about ten minutes. Then I decided to go home. I got up and ordered an Uber.
The next day I decided to just stay at the house. I figured that I would cancel my stay at the hostel and see if I could get a refund.
So on Sunday I went downtown. I had another shift at Handlebars. On the way there I stopped at the hostel.
I told the girl at reception that I wanted to check out the next day. Amazingly she said that I’d get the money back for the days I was cancelling. I couldn’t believe it. I was so grateful.
She said checkout was before 10 am the next day. I knew that would be tricky, because I had to be at work at 7:15 am the next day.
I took my suitcase with me to the bar shift. I figured that I’d grab my guitar the next morning when I checked out.
I went to handlebars with my suitcase and had a good shift. I took an Uber home, because I wanted to get straight to bed. I had to be up pretty early.
I woke up at 5:30 am. Then I lay in bed for like 15 minutes. That fucked everything up. I was gonna get straight out of bed, take an Uber to the hostel, check out with my guitar, and then take the train to work.
I got to the hostel and checked out, but I ended up missing the train. I had to take another Uber. In less than 12 hours I’d spent about $150 dollars on Ubers. I was so angry. Probably the angriest I’d been in a while.
I felt so stupid for sleeping in. And I felt so frustrated because I felt like this whole mess could be traced back to my drinking and starting this whole mess with Carly, which led to her losing her mind, which led to me booking the room in the hostel.
So I’m back home now. No more fucking Ubers. And I’m getting up when my alarm goes off from now on! No lying in bed and just hanging out!
I’m going to an AA meeting soon. I’m also working again tomorrow.