A Liar's Post

 October 23, 2023

The placebo doctor bit into his thumb. He let loose his lies. They erupted up from the depths of his psyche.

 

The serpent girl was strapped to the table. She was overcome with horrible emotions. The darkness took hold of her. She lost her mind.

The soldiers fighting through the plains of battle felt a shift. They glanced at one another. Then they sought their captain.
“Where’s Captain?” Cried an ol’ boy. 
“He’s in the trees,” said his buddy, as he pointed towards the old Russian forest.

The men sauntered into the darkness. The air became cold.
“How about a fire?” Suggested the doctor’s son.
“We don’t have time,” growled the butcher. “Keep yo’ lips sealed. Unless you wanna be seal meat.”
“Eh?” Said the butcher’s son. He felt out of the loop.

The soldiers emerged into a clearing. The sun was setting. The bloody sky was a real thing of beauty. The men found themselves frozen in awe. They thanked their lord for his generosity.

The men eventually came across a beaver. The mammal was chewing at an old tree. One of the soldiers crept up close and took a photograph. He then removed his notebook and pen and sketched a wonderful impressionist portrait of the critter. 

“What a wonderful illustration!” Said the doctor’s son.
“Thank you,” grunted the portraitist. “I studied in France before the war. I had to work part time as a chef. My family was poor and could not afford to put me through school. I worked nights. I prepared the ingredients. The fancy chefs came in the morning and baked my preparations. They served them for all of France! I take great pride in that. I placed health in the belly of that most beautiful bosom of Europe!”

“What’s that noise?” Whispered the butcher.
The soldiers became still. They cupped their ears. 
The faint sound of a whimpering man could be heard. The soldiers looked up into the branches. 

“Is that Captain Blonchides?” Whispered one the soldiers.
“Captain!” Shouted the butcher. “Um- it’s your men! Your soldier boys from England!”

The captain paused his bout of misery. He peered down. “You’re just in time, boys! Come up and join me! We’ll enjoy the winter solstice from amongst these branches!” 

“What about this beaver?” Asked the Doctor’s son. “Won’t be bring us crashing down?” 
“That’s neither here nor their,” said the Captain reassuringly. “Come and join me. We’ll sing of war and victory!”

The men struggled to ascend the thick tree trunk. 

Working In The City

Oct 18, 2023

I had a super long shift today. I got up at 6. I had oatmeal and coffee. I had to be at work in the city by 8. I left the house at 7.

    I love the public transport here in Melbourne. I’m really sad to be leaving it, and honestly a bit scared. 

We were packing up an office all day. Trent was running it. 

    The whole day already seems like a blur. We finished at 6:15. 

    I went and got McDonald’s. I was going to go straight to AA, but then Curtis said he wasn’t going and so I didn’t either. 

    Pablo called me on the way home. We talked about his new baby and about how busy he is. He sounded pretty overwhelmed. 

I did some groceries and then got home. I made my sandwich for work tomorrow. 

Now I’m about to go to sleep because I’m exhausted. 

BYYEEYEE!!!!

Cutting Thy Grass

 Oct 17, 2023

    I woke up at 6 for work today. I made oatmeal and coffee and watched a Bobby Lee and Theo Von video for an hour. Then I walked to work. It’s about a fifteen minute walk if I’m walking sorta slow. 

    I work with Corey, who’s one of my roommates. He’s the one who got me the job. He bikes to work so he got there first. The first house we went to was super over grown. It took about three hours to do. They’re not normally that bad. 

    We did a few more houses after that. We did four in total. We got off work at 2:15.

    I got home and took a shower. Then I did my laundry. I’ve still gotta bring in the clothes that are drying. 

    I sent an email to the bank in New Zealand. I’m trying to get it opened before I arrive. It’ll just make things easier. I think I need a bank account before I can get my tax number.

    I also applied to three employment agencies. They all sounded sorta similar to Zoogle, which is the one I'm with in Melbourne. 

    Today is also day three of not drinking anything. It feels really good being sober. I still feel horrified when I think of some of the cringey things I’ve done lately while drunk. I’m going to an AA meeting tomorrow night. 

    I went to the grocery store and got some stuff. I came home and made popcorn and then made my sandwiches for tomorrow. 
That’s about it!!!!!! 

    The water tasted better once he’d bent over and smelled it. He needs to know its source. He had a feeling it was originating from China. It was a miracle. It had somehow flowed it’s way through the earth. What a fucking terrific story this will be for those little fuckers. 

They Love Me

 Oct 16, 2023

Today I worked at Pica. My shift started at 11 am. It took about an hour to get there. It’s in the Port Lands sorta area of Melbourne, just south of the CBD. 

    I really prefer work where I don’t have to get up early. Tomorrow the Jim’s Mowing shift starts at 7:30 so I’ll be up at 6 so that I can have breakfast and coffee. 

    The guys I was working with today were really nice. The boss guy is really upset that I’m leaving in a month. They keep talking about how I should stay and work for them. I don't they understand that I can’t stay, even if I wanted to. I have to leave. But it’s definitely flattering. 

    It makes me think that I’d like to do similar work in New Zealand. I really wanna work where I’m around girls my age. You don’t really get that with the labour jobs. It’s always guys.

 

    Today is my second day of not drinking. It’s funny because today I could have gotten wasted for free if I’d wanted to. We were basically just moving cases of beer around. A lot of it was being thrown out because it was recently expired. One of the guys I was working with must’ve had like 8 beers while we were working. He just kept cracking them open. He was even taking beers that weren’t expired. The boss guy didn’t seem to mind. 

    They took me out to lunch and bought me a panini. I thought that was really nice. The boss guy sorta reminded me of David Brown from the Fox. Like David mixed with Jayme from next door in Toronto. 

    I feel like as I travel I meet different versions of the same people. Like similar people in different bodies. 

The Strong Kid

Oct 15, 2023

It’s Sunday night. I’m sitting on the edge of my bed in Melbourne. I’m working tomorrow at PICA. It’s my second time working with them. It’s probably good experience.

 

    I’ve been drinking so much lately. Almost everyday. So many cringy memories. Some fun moments, but most of it is just cringe. 

    I always seem to ramble about cringy things. Like trying to explain to everyone what the meaning of everything is. I become so cocky. I just feel like I have all the answers or something. 

    Maybe that’s not true actually. There’s moments that are fun for sure, but the whole thing is just insane. I’m completely destroying myself and my life. Everything that I care about quickly falls away. I just become perpetually hung over and tired and buzzed.

    I really can’t believe I was sober for nearly 3 years. That feels like this amazing time that somehow got away from me. 

    I have some sort of gut feeling of the little things I’m supposed to do. The daily routines that are good. I used to run every morning. I used to write something and post it everyday. I don’t know if that stuff made me happier, but it did feel somehow right and like it was good for me in some larger way that I could just sense. 

    I’m gonna try and commit to writing everyday again. I want to post things again but I feel scared. I guess because it’s been so long. 

    Today, though, is day 1 of being sober from alcohol and weed. 

    The tiny house was just sitting there. So many kids threw rocks at the windows. Nobody respected the old thing. 

    The strongest of the kids was always getting laid. 

Oct 1, 2023

 

The Greek Grid

 Sep 25, 2023

I built the world just to see it end. It hurt me to do this. I have tried to come back again and again. I’m always met by some random opposition from the other side. Even if I didn’t burn, I’d still be disemboweled by the rebels.

The ship was installed with a navigation machine. It steered us into a cloud. We saw blues and greens swirling above the masts. The smell of sea entered our awareness. I coughed and laughed.

Mother Russia was ahead of us, just over the horizon. She signalled us forwards. 

I saw an island full of birds. Millions of them. They flew through the darkness in slow motion. 

I got drunk with the cabin crew. We played poker into the early morning hours. We ascended the steps. Everyone on the deck was dead. The gulls pecked at their eyes. 

“What happened here?” I asked. 

The sun set over Asia. We found our way into a great whirlpool. The continents battled in a great war. The land was burned. I watched my family burn.

The towers of New York were erected during the night. The sun rose and there was orange light. The streets below were blanketed in a type of darkness.

A cab pulled up to my office. I was whisked away. We entered the grid.

A yellow table cloth was laid out in the universe. I had been here before. Our taxi followed a straight path. We hurled through the cosmic grid for one million long and colourful years. The sun stayed just above my head. I was terrified.

The Gods were sat on their thrones. They watched us approach. I was sure that they would smile. I believed that they were related to me somehow.

The circus began to power on its lights. The shoplifters waited in the bushes. The rebels were behind the hill, oiling their gear. The Princes were in the ocean, swimming with their wives. The moon shone on all.

The tents were erected and allowed the European nations a place to rest. We ran inside and laughed like we were five. 

    We used hammers to win money and to knock out the teeth of the peasants. I thought I would pass out from over-stimulation.

I was flying over the ocean. The waves were blue and purple. I knew that the sun was in me. I had argued with priests for too long. 

    I set sail towards the centre of by being. I collapsed into a vortex of sand and ashes. Everything was begging and crying.

The gulls took control of the ship. We were steered back towards Greece. The hills were alive at night. The warriors played trumpets. They eagerly awaited our arrival. We would all be executed. We were all going to die. 

I tried to take my life. I leapt from the ship and hit the ocean waves. The bubbles were around my face. I squeezed my cheeks. 

I waited for my soulmate. She promised that she would meet me halfway. I sank into the darkness. Then it was dark and cold. 

    The storm destroyed Europe. I kept falling. I finally found a secret passage. I sank into it. A bomb exploded over the snow. 

I died in the arms of my mother. I drank from the stream of my ancestors river. I was burned. I was buried. I was drowned in myth. I was erected five thousand years later. A red oak was burned for me. 

My son was taken back to Egypt. He was placed atop a round beetle I was asked to call forth the seas and reinvest his spiritual power into the hearts of man. He was pleaded with. He ran away into a cave.