New Year's Eve

 Dec 31, 2023

    It’s New Year’s Eve. The end of 2023. I’ve been trying my best to let some other power guide me and give me direction.

    I had the hunch to got to church today. I felt like it was something to do on New Year’s, since today is Sunday. 

    The actual service was alright. I feel like I prefer AA meetings. I feel a much stronger and safer connection to something greater than myself. I enjoyed the singing. That felt appropriate, because I’ve been trying to really feel the energy of my throat. 

    I don’t know that I’ll go back. Maybe just whenever I feel a push to do so. I feel that my going there today had a benefit that I may not be aware. An energetic benefit. 

    I went to the park and hung out on the grass. I was reading for a while and then fell asleep.

    There was a concert in the park so I went to check it out. I kinda wandered around but didn’t go to the actual stage area. It was too loud and there were too many people. 

    I saw a pinecone on the ground and I got this random surge of excitement! I picked it up and took a photo. I googled the symbolism right away, because I know it meant something. It turns out it represents human evolution and enlightenment in many cultures. That seemed super fitting. I thought that was super cool!!! I feel so connected.

    In this New Year I want to feel more energy and more growth. I want to feel closer to beings of love that are around and in me at all times. I want to aspire to being an ambassador of love and light. I want to have faith that the universe will work through me.

 

    The universe will guide me and take me where I need to go. It will take the reins and direct me. I will be along for the ride.

    Your courage is just. It takes hold and brings light. 

A Big Park

Dec 30, 2023

    Here I am, back in the room. I’ve got this room to myself. It’s such a lovely surprise. I feel like celebrating with a bottle of strong beer. 

    That fusion is happening! All the things and tings are lining up! It’s one of those periods where it just feels magical. It’s hard to put into words, and always comes out sounding dumb anyways. 

    This book I'm reading is really interesting. It’s called ‘Initiation’. Well, parts of it are cool. I feel like it could’ve been like half as long. Sometimes she takes a whole paragraph to say the same thing over and over again, with different words.

    But a lot of it lines up with so many other things I’ve read and heard. I love it when that happens. Corroboration. 

    I’ve got 4 more nights in this hostel. Tomorrow is New Years Eve. I’m not sure if I’ll do anything. I’ll see if there’s anything interesting happening around here. 

    I don’t like leaving this part of town. It’s really ugly when you’re outside of it. The park is amazing though. It feels really cool. I feel relaxed in there. The trees are big and old. 

    I checked out a room yesterday. I walked all the way there. It was over an hour. Then I had to walk all the way back. I got burned. I didn’t wear sunscreen or a hat. 

    It turns out that it’s very easy to burn in NZ. The ozone is much thinner here, especially during the summer. I can literally feel the difference from Canada. Just standing in the sun feels different. It stings almost right away. 

    I even wonder if I almost had a heat-stroke. I had a headache and felt funny. My throat was sore. This morning I woke with a head-ache as well. 

    The grass is getting cut. The skin is shedding for more people to find hope. This is leading to a new age of power. It is accepting your inner love and combining that with higher degrees of spiritual truths in order to refill the concepts that have been lost.

    This task is underway. It is accelerating. It takes a long time to happen. 
    Nights are like fire. The burning busses are chucked into the river. They drown at a terrible rate. The lake burns and burns. It all goes away in the end. It all turns to dust. 

No More Photos

 Dec 28, 2023

    The lake is on fire. I can see al the way to the other side. There’s people that are burning. They’re turning black. They’re curling up on the ground. They’re starting to sizzle. Th ego is going away. It’s taking as many bodies as it can with it.

    The turn table was playing The Kinks. It made me groovy. I lay down and got sucked up into some hallucination. I floated through red clouds and emerged dickless.

    The night was ending. The sun was rising. The stonemason was walking to work. He had a bucket full of lucky stones. He was a praying man.

    Those ladies are like lunchables. So easily devoured! So little nutrients. 

    I’ve seen good women. They live underground in the dark. They like it damp and moldy. They come up for air during the solstice. They plant some seeds while they’re up here. They whisper into the trees. They make small stone circles. 

    Today I my SD card stopped working. All the photos and videos from the road trip around the north island are gone! What the fuck is the universe trying to tell me! My hard drive stopped working a couple days ago, and now this! 

    I went up the mountain with dad today. Christchurch looks really flat. On the other side of the mountain it’s much more beautiful. There’s water and mountains. It looked awesome. There was a big cruise ship. Then we went to the beach and had fish and chips. I felt gross after! 

    Dad is leaving tomorrow. He’s gonna be back in 6 days to pick me up. We’ll do a road trip around the south island. 

Christ's Lovely Church

 Dec 27, 2023

    I’m at a hostel in Christchurch. I flew here with Dad this morning. 

    We woke up at 4 am and boarded our flight around 6 am. The flight was just over an hour. The views were amazing. The mountains looked crazy. 

    I really like the airport. It’s definitely a little chillier here. 

    We took the bus into town. I dropped off my luggage at the hostel. Then we went for breakfast and explored the city. It’s pretty cool so far. It was cool checking out the cathedral which is still pretty destroyed from the earthquake in 2011. 

    The river going through the city was really nice. The park was amazing. 

    Dad eventually left to go to his hotel. I went to the library for about 2 hours. 

    I went to the hostel and then sat in the park and recorded some music. It was nice. I’m gonna go to bed now. I’m exhausted. 

Destroyed Memories

 Dec 25, 2023

    It’s Christmas Day. I’m with dad. It’s our last night camping on the north island. We’re an hour and a half from Auckland.

    I just grabbed my 2 old hard drives for us to look at photos. Both of the connection ports are all destroyed. I have no idea what the fuck happened. They look like someone took a knife to them and mangled them all up. I was just using both of them at the meditation retreat. That was just a few weeks ago.

    This is fucking stupid. This has happened before with these things. I really can only trust the cloud. The only things that I don’t put on the cloud are all the unedited video clips I shoot. I think I need to structure things so that I never have to rely on these things again. I’m pretty much already doing that. Thank god I’ve already got the really important things on the cloud.

    I feel like I’m getting a hint here. I need to stop amassing footage to use one day. I need to stop taking forever to make and finish things. I need to stop trying to make a ‘perfect catalogue’ of work. Everything will be destroyed in the end, anyways. Everything changes. It’s about the doing. The consistency I guess. 

Wellington

 Dec 24, 2023

    
    I’m in Wellington. I’m at a movie theatre. It’s called The Embassy. It’s a really old theatre. It looks pretty cool. 

    We’re gonna see ‘Next Goal Wins’ in about 30 minutes. Dad forgot to lock the car. He just went back to lock it. 

    Last night we realized that the car had a flat tire. We noticed before going to bed. The car didn’t have a spare tire, but it had some sort of sealant.

 It worked for now, but we don’t know how long it’ll last. We need to be in Auckland in a couple days. 

    We walked around the city and took the cable car up the hill. Then we walked back down the hill.

    I wonder if I’ll end up living here. It would be cool to live in one of the houses we walked past coming down the hill. 

    It’s Christmas Eve today.

The Magical Orb

 Dec 22, 2023

    I’m in a small town called Gisborne. It’s on the east coast of New Zealand. Today is the summer solstice. Yesterday we slept in an interesting camp site.

    It was next to a small town. It wasn’t really a town though. It was tiny. I sat and read for a while. I got super bored. Dad found this weird thing on the beach. He brought it back for me. We have no idea what it is. It’s like this metal and glass container. The bottom is covered in some rusty rocky material. It looks super cool. I was staring at it for so long. It feels more and more profound the longer I look into it. 

    Some of the other people saw us staring at it. They came over. Some people wondered if it’s radioactive. It looks like something that fell off a UFO. It feels super high tech. I wonder if it's military related. 

  I instantly fell in love with it. I have no idea what it is. I just sat and stared into the reflection for a long time. It's super shiny. 

That little green tree is full of love. It's bubbles with joy. Everyone around here knows it. I feel like I’ve been talking about this for so long. 

    Even the darkest tree is full of glory. It speaks to me through energy. It bounces around in my bones. I can feel my stomach start to vibrate. It gets warm and then I have to release the energy down through my feet and into the earth. It’s such a naturally pleasant thing.