Sleeping Giants

 Jan 31, 2022


Marching all through the woods, and all that I have seen are tiny little cub scouts. The whole forest is full of these soldiers. I keep calling for back-up, but of course no one ever comes. I just keep expecting to feel high or something.


It’s worse in the winter, because that’s when I'm really stuck inside and feeling all intolerant of stuff. And systems MAN! Those systems turn my boat on for sureeee!!! 


THat’s besides the point- though. What is NOT a lie is this- I’m 7 feet tall on Fridays!


“REALY?” Screamed his mother. “Oh you never told me about any freak stuff like that!?!!?!”


Mom, ease up! IT’s just a joke! I’m going back to Michigan tomorrow and uh, don’t follow me.


And with that, the two were separated. The clouds grew up and formed homes of clouds above mountains, and it rained like the sweat of a sleeping giant. That was away from here. I’m writing this on top of a chair, in the living rooooooom because this is where the air gets close to the floor and keeps my foot strong. The other foot is on his deathbed. He’s seen a ghost. Ho told me this morning! I accused the foot of lying- DIDN’T I! 


Whatever man. That’s like grass for your roommates anxiety!!! That’s just a product, and it can be reviewed by government committees, just like everything else!!!


“Damn, that’s all the time I have for now, people. Now please go to bed and listen to the radio for your health. Turn up the volume, and feel it in your air but not too close to your ears. You don’t want those damaged. Well that’s just about it!


“What else we got for THEM,” whispered the writer to his thinker. 


The thinker became startled by the sudden attention turned his way. He blinked, smacked his licks. coughed in angst,  “UH, what about- MAXWELL WITH HIS HEAD ON FiRE and- YELLOW RIBBONS WITH GLOWING TWIRLS COMING OUT HIS EARSS!!!!! JUST TELL THEM TO LOOK AT THATT!!!!!!!’


“Uh- ok thank you so mucho- good plan!” Said the writer, bowing in great respect. 


Gift Givers

 
Jan 30, 2022


There’s a magic square where it’s always East but not always Thanksgiving! Isn’t that strange? 
That’s the personality trait that drives me crazy. Standing between you and my sister, that’s the kinda thing I’m gonna mess up a thrift store for. I’m gonna do it with some guys! We’re gonna throw all the cardboard into a sack of leaves and then burn it, or something easy going like that.
“Right,” responded the interviewer. “Um, before I  go- can you answer a question that our viewers have been having?”
Uh, yah ok. We can do that.
“Wonderful- what we’re wondering is, is it true that you and the other four Beatles are breaking up?”
Uh, well I haven't talked to them about that. That’s kinda between them right now- I'm just here to work and take you out after this.
“What- take me out?”
That’s right Charley. You’re gonna kick up dust with the party of cops tonight, right?
“What party?”
The cop party! That’s going on tonight! Come down and have a good time! The foods always good!
“Alright I'll see what I can do, my Skippy looking son!”
I love you!! 
I love you too!!!!! :O::O:O:O:O: 
Some people are gift-givers but not me, I’m actually a gift receiver! But I do share all of the gifts that Taiwan gives me. I share those with a lot of my friends. That’s all I do around here. Sometimes, that’s all I feel I’m good for. Like come on!!!!!! Are we gonna do real work or what??? 
it's a lonely sorta well. It’s a deep well in fact. It goes down for about thirty 5 feet and then it's just flat rocks!
“What else is down there? Anything- invisible?.....
Well yeah there is some invisible stuff, like probabilities- ya know? Like there is a probability that anything will happen at any moment. Anything you can think of, has a certain probability of happening. Nothing's like 0% or 100% ya know?
Ok- what do I do with that, Einstein!!! I’m still stuck!! How is that gonna help get me out of this quicksand?!??!
Einstein slapped his wrists and tried to wake up. He pulled up his pants and started running around the yard. He was going like 90 miles an hour. It’s what he does.


Elev8 Grand Closing!!

Jan 29, 2022


Inside my tiny bubbles there are stars that are on wires. They’re all connected- not physically; but by some sorta touch. It's what makes you lucky.
That thing that you do when you're on the edge of bed. When you look down and there's the sea below you. That’s the end of existence. That's the kinda feeling that turns your head into chocolate for all the wrong reasons. 
So I built a wooden boat and used it for power. It drove me across the lake's surface. We ended up in Moscow, five days before the Opening Ceremony! They were celebrating like mad! I’ve never seen so many excited Russians! 
I walked down the street. I asked a man where his loyalty lay.
“It lies in the boats- in the boys who built the wooden Town-Boats.”
“What about your sister?”
“What about her?” Asked the man, snapping his neck to look at me. 
“Aren’t you also proud of her?” I asked, raising my palm in diplomacy. 
“Enough about my family! No more weirding me out! We’re not gonna do this!” The man ran away awkwardly as if connected to me by an invisible vine.
So the sun started to come up on the other side of the world. The sky was dark red, then orange, and then like a CLEAR BLUE AMERICAN MORNING. The TV’s came on in millions of homes and, through the use of speakers and EYESIGHT, demonstrated the excitement and importance of many new inventions! 
So a bunch of those people got up and rolled outta bed. They thought about Canada, and how it’s a country. 
Although I don't know what they thought, actually. I’m not millions of people. I can guess, but a guess is just a shot in the dark. I am in this maze now- what was i talking about,,,,,,,,,,, 
Fjdkfjdkfjkdj


Animal Farm

 Jan 28, 2022


I finished reading Animal Farm by George Orwell last night. It was the first book I’d read by the author. I was given 1984 to read in English class in high school, but for some reason I was never able to read when I was TOLD to read. There’s a lot of those required reading classics that I never read. I often had to write essays on these books, of which I knew nothing about, aside from some vague synopsis online. It was only after those classes that I was able to go to the library, or my bedroom and read something that I had chosen myself. 
Anyways, recently I’ve been enjoying reading a lot of these types of books. I recently went to my local used book store to see if they had a copy of 1984, which I’d never read. They didn’t but they had one copy of Animal Farm, which I had first heard about through Pink Floyd, who’d apparently based their album ‘Animals’ on. The album was a concept album, which featured 3 long, sprawling songs titled Pigs, Dogs, and Sheep. So I happily brought the book home and read it quite quickly since not only is it short, but also very exciting and engaging. 
I was so interested in what would happen next to the animals on their farm. I couldn't’ put the book down. It was such an interesting combination of fantasy and reality. The way the animals all spoke with one another reminded me of stories like Charlotte’s Web and Babe, while the story itself, which revolved around the pigs slowly but surely taking more and more power for themselves, made me feel as though I was reading a nonfiction book on the history and dynamics of Dictatorships.I know very little about such forms of governments, and while reading Animal Farm, I couldn't think of a better introduction to the topic than this short book. I find the way in which Orwell presented the topic to be so clever. All he really did was take a simple concept and substitute humans for animals, a country for a farm. For some reason which I don’t quite understand, that substitution is so powerful at letting the reader see the bigger picture from a nearly neutral point of view. When similar stories are recounted in books or in the news, I as the observer can’t help but feel the tug of different people who want to shape my perspective or my view- it’s harder to get a clearer picture of what’s really going on. 
However, when the exact same concept is substituted with animals, it somehow removes that urge in myself to pick sides. It allowed me to observe almost as if from above, without any personal stake in the situation. I found it to be a powerful way of explaining a complicated situation. 


Writing Class


I feel that this prompt is very fitting for me at the moment. My dad is currently In Costa Rica. He’s been there for about a month and is planning on staying until sometime in April. He recently left the first town he’d been in, which was outside a small and famous surfing community, and relocated to an even smaller fishing village. He’s been posting photos on Facebook of the crystal blue water, the busy markets, and the countless lizards that share his home with him and who keep pesky bugs at bay. When we talk on the phone, he’s often sure to share with me just how warm the weather is, and how he doesn't know if he can take it much longer. In fact, early on in his trip he shared with me the fact that his clothes, folded in their cupboard, were rapidly growing mold from the intense humidity. I suggest storing them in the fridge or freezer, a suggestion he happily took me up on. 


During all of this time, my dad has been suggesting that I come down and stay with him for 10 or so days. I initially jumped at the offer and bought myself a plane ticket for January 6. I was excited and ready to enjoy a break from Toronto’s cruel winter. There was only one problem- my passport had recently expired and needed to be renewed. Thus followed a seemingly endless process of completing this mythic task. Long story short, I still do not have my passport. This was due to a number of issues, some of which were mistakes I made when filling out documents, and some of which were mistakes made my Service Canada employees, mistakes which they called me up to apologize profusely for and instruct me how to go about remedying their errors. On top of all this, there was this seemingly back and forth debate going on about vacationing in the time of Covid- many were saying it was wrong and unsafe, while others said that if I chose to go, I needed to buy travel insurance, quarantine, and be prepared to not be allowed back into Canada when my trip was over. 
Regardless of all of this, the lack of a new passport meant I had to cancel my plane ticket which was quite easy due to new rules during the time of Covid. I plan on using the money still in their system towards a new ticket at some point. At this point, however, i find it unlikely that I’ll have the passport in time to visit my dad. A new problem has cropped up in that I’ve been instructed to mail in a birth certificate and health card. In the tradition of the last few weeks, my health card has also expired, and to receive my renewed one will take 4-6 weeks. 
In the meantime I can continue to enjoy my dad’s photos on facebook from the comfort of my house as the wind and snow continues to pelt the world outside my window. 
The camino del santiago 


The King Catches Fire

January 26, 2022 


The king was on fire and he couldn't put the flames out. He was panicking. He ran like a mad man.
“STOP DROP AND ROLL!” Screamed one of his servants. 
“Somebody get some water from the kitchen!” Shrieked the king’s wife. A handful of people, mesmerized by the bright flames, jolted back to reality and did as they were instructed. 
The king continued running back and forth, trying desperately to put out the flames with his hands. It was no use, in fact the flames were only growing larger and more brilliant.
“How did this happen?!” Cried his wife, who was chasing close behind her husband, swatting him with a small handkerchief. 
“He got too close to the candles!” Shouted one of the cooks, who was looking for something to combat the flames. “I asked him what fire tastes like- he said he didn’t know but that he’d give the candles a lick and find out! This is all my fault!”
“It certainly is!” Responded the king’s wife. “It’ll be off with your head as soon as this is dealt with!”
The cook sunk to the floor in sadness as tears welled up in his eyes. “Forgive me, Lord. WHY MUST I HAVE BEEN BORN SUCH A CURIOUS COOK!!?”
Half a dozen servants reemerged into the room, all carrying with them wooden buckets of sloshing water. “Stand still!” Pleaded one, as they approached the sizzling King. He couldn't hear them, for his ear drums had long since melted. The servants tossed the water in his direction, most of which missed and splashed across the stone floor. The king became more and more desperate- he ran towards some curtains hoping to smother himself against their fabric and put out the fire. This only made things worse, for the hungry flames leapt from the king's clothes and began snaking up the velvety curtains, filling the room with thick black smoke. 


The Anxious Author

January 25, 2022


The author had finished writing her first draft for a book she hoped would be published. She’d shared the draft with a friend who worked downtown at a respected publishing house. She’d sent it earlier that morning. She was itching with nerves. She hoped that the powers that be would enjoy it. She hoped that they’d have nice things to say, and that they’d call her up to tell her just how much they loved reading it. She couldn’t stand these nerves. She put on her shoes, grabbed a jacket and placed a pair of sunglasses onto her stoic face.
The weather outside was warm and balmy. Inside, though, she was shivering. She made her way over to a small café by the beach. She entered and removed her sunglasses.
“Welcome to our shop,” said a teenager behind the counter. “What can I get started for you?” 
“How about a box of gummies?”
“Yes, that’s a transaction I’m willing to make,” responded the teen through a symphony of voice cracks. “Its $4.95- cash or card?”
“Do you take cheques?” Asked the woman, reaching into her jacket pocket.
“Um, I’m gonna have to ask my boss. That’s an area that I don’t really know too much about.”
The woman waved her hand to show that she would wait. The nervous teen retreated into the back and returned with a short, overweight, cigar smoking serial-entrepreneur. He was proud and self-assured. He didn’t seem to have any insecurities whatsoever. “You’re trying to pay by cheque?” He asked.
“Yes, if it’s possible,” answered the woman.
The man nodded slowly as he pulled something out of a drawer. It was a briefcase. “Place the cheque right here! Do it slowly and with confidence!”
The woman removed a cheque book from her jacket pocket as well as a pen. She filled it out in a calm sort of way. She then placed it in the briefcase, just as she'd been instructed.
The short man turned to the teen and handed him the briefcase. “Take this to the bank and cash it- you and I are eating right tonight, boy!”
The teen nodded and laughed, which sounded like the noise dehydrated donkeys make. He left the scene with the suitcase clutched against his chest. The shop owner handed the woman her box of gummies as well as the receipt. They both politely waved goodbye.


The Office Meeting

January 24, 2022


I was in the middle of a meeting. I’d been there for 2 hours and we still had two more to go. I was losing my mind, and I was beginning to feel the pain of living without a father. I was really on the verge of a panic attack. I stood up and asked if I could share a story with my co-workers.

“Don’t make us go crazy with boredom,” pleaded a top executive, as he chewed his Kit-Kat. 
“I won’t. I just want to point out something extremely alarming. Something that I think you should know about- all of you.” I paused for dramatic purposes. I let the room sink into hot warm feelings as I got on my butt and laughed at the wall like it was Charlie Chaplin. I rolled around and let my hair out of its helmet.
“Hurry up!” Ordered my boss who was now seventeen inches from turning off my hot water. I knew that he would do as his mother told him. He was a fine capitalist- a real American entrepreneur and there ain't a goddamn thing wrong with that, ya feel me?
Anyways, I stood up, wiped my mouth with my sleeve, and carried on with my presentation. “I just want to say that I'm on the verge of throwing myself out this window,'' I explained patiently, pointing towards the glass. “I’m like some lunatic with hands for feet and feet for hands! Who’s with me!”
A man in the back roared with approval and stood up faster than a rocket as he tossed his lunch to the floor. 
“THAT’S more like it,” I whispered, sniffing my fingers as I nodded with pride. 
        :) 


Tanning With My Friends

January 23, 2022


The cold weather is killing me! I can’t stand this frigid air. It’s like nails that are just tearing into my skin!! I thought I’d pay a visit to a tanning salon and get some colour on my pale skin. 
“Hi there! Welcome to Tanned Skins ‘R’ Us!” Chirped a happy woman behind a counter as I entered the salon. 
“Hello. I’m here to get some colour on my pale frame. I’m getting whiter by the hour,” I confessed. 
“That’s no problem. Just follow me and we’ll get your skin glowing in no time!” 
“You do the whole body?”
“Yes, if that’s what you want.”
“That’s what I want,” I said sheepishly. 
The woman led me into a large room. There were already two other people in their getting tanned. 
“Thank you for your service.” I said, bowing before the woman. She didn’t answer me. She turned and left. I walked over to the tanning bed and was surprised to see Bill Gates on the bed opposite mine.
“Bill! You’re getting tanned?”
“You guessed correctly,” said Bill, with a devilish grin across his tanned face. 
“How about after this you and I go for Margaritas,” I proposed, as I removed my clothes.
“May I join the fun?” Asked a woman’s voice. I turned to see Hillary Clinton sitting up in her tanning bed, looking at me with deep, pleading eyes. 
“Of course, Hillary,” I chuckled, placing my body into the tanning bed. “It will be fun!” We all cheered in celebration as we continued to let the machines work their magic. 


The Holy Flame

    Jan 22, 2022


The fire was burning through the building. Smoke was billowing and turning the sky black. Everything got hot and people started running for their lives.
“Take me to Jesus before he beats me for my sins!!!” Moaned a woman who was praying on the pavement. She was rocking back and forth in anxiety. 
A priest ran over and helped her up. “What are you doing tonight for dinner, young woman?”
The woman brushed her hair out of her bruised face. “I- I was thinking of going for pizza. I want to eat a hot slice of beef jerky as well!”
The priest smiled and held his lips together so tight as he nodded and slapped his own back. “That’s America,” he whispered. “That’s the symbolic virtue of this country, ya feel me?”
“I feel your aura!” Cried the women. 
The two of them put their hands in each other’s pockets and ran up the street. The smoke continued to stream up into the sky as people ran and ducked for cover. 

Killed My Dog By Accident

Jan 21, 2022

My sister threw down her fists and started beating up my dog. The dog screamed like a boiling kettle. 
“Take your hands off me, girl!” Ordered the dog.
“Don’t talk back! I’m here to teach you!” said my sister in a low, baritone voice. 
I was on the couch, watching this horror unfold. I stood and threw all of my avocados at the drama. “Look out doggy! These avocados are not meant to hurt you, they are for my sister!”
It was too late. The dog had not dodged the projectiles in time, and was now laying motionless under a mountain of avocados. He was as dead as a dead man. 
“Oh crap! That's my fault!” I croaked, trembling in my underwear. 
“I'm calling the Russians!” screamed my sister, as she grabbed her phone and bolted for the bathroom. 
“NO! DON’T! DON'T DO THAT!” I begged, chasing after her. She was faster than me. She locked herself in that tiny bathroom and called the Russians.  I started sobbing and jumping up and down. I was smacking the door, begging for her to back down. 


My Dog Is Dead

 January 20, 2022


John the Southern Baptist was at the top of his game. He was revered and respected in his town. The children were taught to worship the tall, gregarious man. John was the son of a British mathematician who had helped design Queen Victoria’s telescope. John’s father, after a few glasses of wine with his family, would often recount stories of his working relationship with Her Majesty. 

He’d first crossed paths with the British Royal one day at the beach. John’s father had been pacing the summer shores looking for seagulls. He was poor at the time, and survived off of the tasty bird. Well, as luck would have it, Queen Victoria had been out doing the same thing. They bumped into one another, head first, after both reached down to snatch a weak looking seagull. They got to talking and discovered that they had much more in common than just a love for Charbroiled Birds. In fact, they both turned out to be enthusiastic astronomers. Queen Victoria could name many of the craters that had been mapped by famous astronomers. She had read all of the literature. John’s father, seizing the opportunity, offered to build her a telescope. He said that with a small donation from the crown, he could get to work building Britain’s finest space observatory. The queen, who was already getting started on her tasty seagull, happily agreed and walked back together towards her carriage. 

Over the next few months’ John’s father put together a fine team of theorists, skilled labourers, and clever engineers to build the highly anticipated device. On the day of the grand opening, Queen Victoria, accompanied by a crowd of people, climbed the hill to the new observatory and began studying the lunar surface in all of it’s high-resolution. 




Tony the young boy awoke one morning with a certain sense of unease. He lay on his back for a few minutes licking his lips and trying to silence the subtle sluggish feeling going on inside himself. He was stressed. He couldn’t remember where he’d left his new puppy. He had a terrible feeling he’d left it in the car overnight. Tony stood up on his bed and looked out his window, to where he could see this family's car. His heart sank when he was greeted by the view of a truly apocalyptic looking blizzard.


“My dog is dead!” Screamed Tony, jumping out of bed and running down the stairs.


“Tony’s mom was ironing her sheets in the living room. “What are you talking about, you little anxious boy? Don’t go outside! Two of your brothers have already passed away in the icy cold!”


“My dog is in danger, mother. Please, won’t you grant me a pair of boots, and perhaps fund a rescue operation for my puppy?”


The mother moaned in protest, then she lumbered over to the kitchen and prepared the boy a lunch that he could take with him. She also dressed him for the extreme temperatures. Tony thanked her and headed out into the horror. 


The Ancient Breakfast

 Jan 19, 2022


Mark the engineer got on his hands and knees to inspect the finished circuit board. He was in love. What a beautiful design! He was proud of himself and of all the people who had put this little engineering marvel together.
“Call in the team!” Declared Mark, waving his gloved hand over his head. “Tell everyone to finish what they’re doing and come down immediately!” 
Unfortunately, nobody was in the room with Mark so his instructions went unnoticed. After 15 minutes the smile was beginning to fade from Mark's face, and after an hour he was feeling REALLY really insecure. Thinking that his own team didn’t care to join him on this celebratory evening, Mark packed up his things and headed for the parking lot. His jaw hung open in a melancholy sort of way. He stood aside his car for a few minutes and looked back at the Gordon Ramsay Electronics Research Center. The architecture was of the International Style. It was built in the early 60’s. The whole structure glowed softly under a warm, lonely night. 


BBC News - Chef Fry’s Up Tasty Breakfast Atop Ancient Pyramid 


All through the mud and trees were lines and lines of cables. It was all a bit of a mess, but this was the first time that anyone had organized anything like it. This was totally unprecedented. 
The famous chef had reached such a level of fame and notoriety that he was able to exert influence on how his TV appearances played out. BBC News asked if he would appear on their morning show and teach the hosts how to fry an egg and cook potatoes. The chef had agreed, but on the condition that the show be aired live from the top of an ancient, Amazonian pyramid. The BBC, not fully appreciating what they were getting themselves into, agreed.
The set-up took 3 months. A base had to be established at the nearest town from where kilometres of cables snaked out along the jungle floor, terminating at the ancient Pyramid. Multiple generators were needed to keep the many lights and various other electronics running for the chef’s Breakfast Tutorial. On top of that, the jungle was so dense and unnavigable, that helicopters had to ferry crew back and forth. It was a terribly expensive operation. 
The team worked hard, and after three months the special day had arrived. The two hosts of the BBC, accompanied by the gregarious chef, were wearing aprons behind a portable stove, at the top of the pyramid.
“Three, two, one -” whispered a voice in their ear pieces.
“And we’re back, with Chef Hannibal Buress! Today he’s going to teach us how to fry up some breakfast!” 
The show was broadcast all around the world and was viewed by millions of hungry viewers. It was a huge success for the BBC, particularly in New Delhi. 


Zombie Sidecar

 Jan 18 2022


Zombie sidecar. It was coming into town. All the riders were decomposing on a quiet, cool summer evening. The only sound was warm winds, tweeting blue-jays, and baby foxes blessing their holy saviour.
The mouse grabbed everything previously mentioned and placed the matter into a big metal tube. East to West were piles of cylindrical bombs. They were ready  to blast red. It was a way of threatening your kids without using too much aggression. It was just a simple easing of things. That’s where his famous penchant for diving originates. It was all there.
I think part of the reason for China’s relatively rapid advancement is because many of the scientific theories and technologies that might be required to position a civilization into that type of world, had already been invented.  
Perhaps most notably, electronics and medicine. Sure sounds like electronics. I’d just imagine medicine. What else would be big ones? Maybe manufacturing techniques, like assembly lines? 

Inside of a line the two cities lay. It was a line that divided many states.
Under the sky that was blue there was a line. 
On a crooked laneway stood a tall wooden house. It was burned and all peeled and had pieces of the roof missing! 
We had to keep driving though. There wasn’t enough time to stop and look outside. 
We had to get going and try to remember what the whole point was.
“You are in charge!” Screamed a transparent woman in front of me. She was wide eyed and REALLY trying to get me to look at myself and see the bigger picture.
So I put that feeling aside and allowed myself to unwind for a day. I was overworked. I enjoyed a lovely brunch with my wrestling classmates.
But first thing in the morning I was there on the marble platform pointing up towards the mushroom cloud. I was there to summon my soul, get on living and finally be free from the illusion that is reality ya ya yay-DA you get the idea. 
All the colours turned upside down, it was a joy to feel. 
 


Gordon Cooks Me For Dinner

 Jan 15, 2022


The oven door had been left wide open. I figured that the chef’s wouldn't mind if I just went inside and took a quick peek, right? I looked left and right. No one was there. I could hear them all in the next room arguing. I turned my attention back towards the toasty oven. I removed my shirt and socks and began to crawl into the great machine. It was pretty hot there. I tried to get comfortable next to some cooking pizzas, but I had a hard time getting myself into a position that didn't burn. Suddenly I heard a voice. It was Gordon Ramsay.


“Who left the oven door wide open! Come on guys! I will eat whichever one of you did this!” Gordon continued this threat of cannibalization as he swung the oven door shut. I started screaming from within, trying desperately to get someone’s attention, only to remember that our kitchen only used sound proof ovens.


A Burning Sky

 Jan 14, 2022


There was a guy falling through the clouds and as this was happening it actually caused the sky around him to warm up! His body was moving through the atmosphere at such a high rate of speed that it actually caused the air to ignite! 
He was this person falling through the air and it looked really impressive.
 There were people hanging out on a mountain and they noticed this behind them. They saw this bright thing moving through the sky! One man feared it was a missile carrying a hydrogen bomb. He was really scared and then really sad, because he figured that the missile must be traveling towards Tokyo, where his kids lived. 
The man needn’t worry though, thank JESUS, because it really wasn’t a war head at all. It was just some guy falling through the atmosphere. 


A Glass Bowl

 Jan 11, 2022


A Up on the top floor of the tower was a small glass bowl, which had probably been made for a fish, but had no water inside on this day. Instead, it was occupied by rubber ducks, all squeezed together and pressed hard against the glass. It sat next to a sunny window overlooking the city.  Off in the distance was a sparkling river that flowed off into the ocean, and beyond that were chimneys puffing out soft plumes of pale white steam. 
Suddenly an overhead light turned on and two children entered the room.

“Where’s the glass bowl, Fred?” Asked one in an eager sort of way.
“It’s there by the window,” replied the other, quietly and timidly. “Marty, we can’t be here too long.”
Marty marched over to the window and grabbed the bowl. “It’s cold! “ He smiled. “This thing must’ve been here all night! Where can I find some water to fill it up?”
“There’s a bathroom down the hall,” answered Fred, pointing behind him. “The sinks aren’t running, so you’ll have to fill it with whatever water is in the toilet.”
“That’s fine,” grinned Marty, walking past Fred with the glass bowl held against his stomach. 
Fred remained in the room for a moment, paying attention to the fine dust that floated through the air. He looked at the carpet, noticing the muddy marks that Marty had made with his winter boots. He took a great breath and then exhaled with a hint of melancholy. He turned towards the exit, flicked off the overhead lights, and went to find Marty.  


My Granola Bars

 Jan 10, 2022

Today was the first day of my marriage. I woke up feeling quite satisfied and content. I rolled over in bed to take a look at my wife, and perhaps admire her. Upon rolling over, I discovered that she was already awake and reading with the help of the morning sun shining through the window. 
“What do you read?” I asked, softly.
“I’m reading the nutritional information on these granola bars,” she answered slowly, as her eyes moved from word to word with great intensity.  It wasn’t until now that I realized that she was reading the backside of a box of granola bars. MY granola bars that I keep in MY section of the pantry. She must’ve gone in there and rummaged through my snacks.
“How can you eat these?” She said, condescendingly. “They’re terrible!”
“Look at this gut!” I declared, as I ripped off the blanket and revealed my flat stomach. “You think I would do anything to harm this handsome physique?” 
“You’re eating rectangles of sugar,” she said, taking no notice of my incredibly chiseled abdomen. “You need to throw these away.”
“I’m doing no such thing,” I grumbled, pulling the covers back up and rolling over onto my side so as not to face my wife. 


My Disappointment

  Jan 9, 2022

I’m so disappointed in humans today. All my hopes have evaporated like a drop of water thrown onto a hot stove. What happened was this- I was outside this morning, walking up my street. I saw a particularly disheveled looking man walking down towards me with his dog. The dog looked cute, it looked like a Black Lab. The man was far from cute. His hair looked long and greasy. He appeared to have forgotten to shave, for his face was patchy and looked dirty. His whole air looked like a sad, sad, unpleasant young man. So anyways, I was walking into my apartment, all the while looking over my shoulder at this man, when I noticed that he’d stopped with his dog in front of a tree. I paid close attention here, because two days prior I had put a box at the side of the road full of items from my house that I was giving away. Now I stood and watched, to my horror, as the dirty man stood by dumbly as his dog raised a leg and began peeing on the items. I turned to walk towards the man and say something, but by the time I got to the box he had already walked down the street a short distance, and I didn't know if yelling after him would accomplish much. I couldn’t believe this man. I just could not process it. It just made no sense and REALLY made me scared for this world. I picked up the box and tossed it into the apartment’s garbage bin. As I went inside and began making coffee I became more and more agitated. I was furious, but slowly began to realize I wasn't furious with the man, but with myself. I felt like a coward for not saying something, for not yelling after him and letting him know that  I was glad to finally know what the face of stupidity looked like. I wished I'd had a little more courage. 


My Shirt Is Too Tight

 Jan 8, 2022


My tight shirt was making me crazy with anger. I could not get out of my head the idea that I was supposed to be wearing something looser, something more comfortable and appropriate. I strolled into shops and made such displays of discomfort, that all of the cashiers could not help but stop and stare at me as I squirmed and grumbled loudly. Most cashiers had no choice but to kick me out. 
The streets were no better, for here was where people were walking in a hurry. They were busy and had no time for a man with a tight shirt. They pushed and shoved and gave me cruel glares. I was bullied and beaten and by sunset I was limping and in tatters. My shirt hung from me like the sail of a ship after a devastating storm. I was the spitting image of modern failure. I lumbered home, tore off my clothes, and lay face down on the floor for the rest of the evening.


A Canadian Winter

 Jan 7, 2022


I was sitting on my patio in Canada, in January. It was freezing. My cup of coffee, which had been warm and toasty just 5 minutes earlier, was now frozen into a block of brown ice. It made me sad to see this and I began to cry. My roommate came outside to smoke a cigar. He saw me screaming sadly into my hands.
“What’s happened to you now, buddy?” He asked, sounding concerned and surprised.
“My coffee has become a chunk of brown ice! I can’t take this climate any longer! Why would anybody build a civilization so far north??”
My roommate shook his head in understanding and lit his long, cuban cigar. He puffed on it contemplatively, then said, “Why don’t you book a flight to Greece? I hear that they have warm weather all year round!”
“All year round?” I asked in disbelief. “Even on Christmas?” 
“That’s right,” answered my friend. “The people of Greece enjoy warm hot sun during all months of the year. Book yourself a ticket tonight! What do you think of that idea?”
I turned from my roommate and stared at my frozen coffee. I went to wipe the tears from my eyes, only to find that they had frozen to my rosy cheeks. “That’s a good idea,” I shivered. “I’ll sell some of my furniture as a means of getting enough money for the ticket.”
My roommate nodded, as he took another long drag from his cigar. “Now you’re thinking. Please, send me a postcard when you arrive.”
“I will, buddy, and if I have enough change I may even send you a traditional Greek bottle of wine!” I declared, as I stood and walked back towards the house.
“Thank you,” said my friend as he bowed in gratitude. He sat down on an ice covered chair and finished his warm smokey cigar. 

I think that I’m generally more optimistic than pessimistic. Sometimes I wonder if it’s naive of me to be that way. Oftentimes I’ll hang out with friends and we’ll be talking and the conversation will drift towards problems in the world. Sometimes we’ll talk about things that bug us or which celebrity we currently hate. I tend to get kind of quiet around these conversations. It’s not that I don’t recognize all of the suffering and pain and injustices going on. I just find that it doesn’t seem to be as constructive as it might seem. Talking about negative aspects of the world can be done in a positive way. I think that it can be fun and exciting to talk about people who are working hard to improve things. I don’t like to get all preachy when I’m around my friends though. I don’t ever say to them, please, can we talk positive and in a constructive manner? I don’t say this, mainly because I don't want to seem naive, so instead I’ll try to subtly steer the conversation in a positive way. I should also say that I give this kind of reminder to myself. It’s easy to notice when other people are doing it, but sometimes hard to notice when I'm doing it quietly in my own head. When i catch myself complaining or feeling defeated I’ll do my best to just let myself know that there are always a solution to every problem. The solution may not be easy, in fact it might be unbelievably difficult, but a solution does exist. 



Little Tortilla

 Jan 6, 2022


My little tortilla got so badly burned that I had to use my own spit to dampen it. I was trying to make tacos for my family. I just wanted them to be happy. I will cook them whatever it takes to make those people happy. So I got to the kitchen and put all the ingredients on the counter, but then my mom came into the room and was shocked as usual.
“What do you think you're doing?” She asked, her eyes held firm on the taco ingredients.
“U’m, I’m doing a little cooking.” 
“Who for?” She asked. “You’ve got enough food here to feed Poland.”
“I was gonna make it for the family. It was supposed to be a surprise.” I felt my lips begin to tremble and my chin begin to sag. I was doing my best to hold back tears.
“Oh my god,” said my mom, running over to me. “Don’t get your tears on the tortilla's! You’ll make them all damp and moldy!” 
I retreated into a corner and cried for a little while as my mom made sure that the food was ok. Once she’d left I stood back up and began cooking, only to over cook the tortillas and cause them to burn. Like I said earlier, I had to spit on them to cool them down. 


Mark Of The Town

Jan 5, 2022


    Mark the Magic Muppet was mayor of his town. He had his hand tight on the public's throat. He let go every so often to let them breathe. There were millions of people. 
Mark had been a bricklayer when he was in his 20’s. All these airplanes that appeared in the sky when he was 29. They bombed the hell out of all the buildings that he and his buddies had built. The town went into a funk. People started getting sick. Even the river was all messed up. There was a maze of wreckage beneath the surface. A quiet anger was born. It grew slowly. No one noticed what was happening. It was slow and gradual, like the growth of a tree. 
Mark began voicing what was on everyone’s mind. This brought a sense of unity to people. It was a long time since they’d felt inspired. 
Mark got elected. Everyone cheered as he rode a parade into the city hall. 
Mark began to forget that everyone was human like him. He went down a dark path for a while. 


Mack The Truck

     Jan 4, 2022

Mack is a truck with two big rings coming down from the mirrors. They drag along the ground and  kick up sparks. They start terrible fires and make kids cry. 
The fire from the truck is burning a hole down to the subway. The birds see the hole and start attacking each other because they are now inspired to be violent like the humans. It’s on TV tonight. Turn on the news and watch the heavens open up as thousands of birds rise from their nests and fly off to war. 

There was one bird that read philosophy. He was on his iPad one day, reading a philosopher try to come up with a good idea for why life is worth it. The bird got bored of the book. He tossed the iPad into a field and watched some native kids pick it up. They stared at their reflection in the black glass. Then they smiled and passed it around in a circle. 

Some Cum?

  Jan 3, 2022

    How about some cum? Would that bother you? Would that allow for the ships to sail sideways? Let’s get real honest for a moment. Ya. Feel that anxiety bubbling up like bubble-tea. You wanna pop those balloons? Or should I do it? How long you gonna hold on to these emotion, you ugly addict. You’re a junkie who loves to turn things inside out. You love to burn all your bridges.
Just look inside for a moment. Look within. What’s burning? Yes, a sun. A real star. It’s a jewel and you’re not noticing it. It’s hot as fuck. Observe that jewel of knowledge and let it fill your cup. It’ll allow everything to grow and flourish. Oooooh emotion? Did you feel that? And that? And everything? Ya. You can feel the universe. It is all there for you to feel. It is not so big from this perspective. Because you are all, and you can feel it. It's there for you to observe it. Why? I don’t know. Find out for yourself. Feel right into the darkness. Feel it for what it is.
I wish to feel whole with music and art. I wish for people to see and enjoy it, and I really really wish to not feel that I am burning myself out to produce stuff for people. I don’t want to be at the whim of what others want of me. I want to be going with the flow, and for other people to be riding along if they wish. Everything just easy and flowing.